Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by LoliT
Joined: Aug 19, 2009
Last Post: Aug 30, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 11
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
LoliT   
Aug 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Not Becoming My Enemy? (Princeton Supplemental Essay Topic, 500 Words Max) [5]

as like, little summaries of possible essays for the quote, which of these, if any at all, work?

tired of being judged so i begin to judge people (judging like, this is their bad quality they should change it) but not changing myself for the better. so i begin to self inspect( i forgot the word for it).

turning from being bullied to becoming a bully of sorts, to trying to find a balance.

i really love this quote, and want to use it, but i fear i dont have enough like, expiriences to go with this quote and i shoudl try another one.
LoliT   
Aug 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Not Becoming My Enemy? (Princeton Supplemental Essay Topic, 500 Words Max) [5]

Yes Its Me Again. I Am Working On The Other Essay On The Side And Realized I Have Like 6 Others To Do, So To Relax Im Working On Other Essays. SO Here Is One For Princeton.

500 words
Option 4 - Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

Working On It, Thanks!-------------------------

ok so the conclusion is probably really weak, and I think the quote may not go with the essay as well as I thought. But critique's are appriciated.
LoliT   
Aug 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal? [24]

If cartoon characters like Jean and Wolverine do not go to doctors for help, especially since Wolverine is basically immortal.

i thought i remember wolverine going to professor x for help with his like emotional issues or something like that. I know they dont go to doctors but they went to SOMEONE for help and that was professor x. i guess it didnt matter so much that it was Professor X so much as it was the relationship of it all. someone needs help and goes to someone respected and well educated. im not sure how to convey the professor x thing. i always saw him in a certain way that didnt make it relate to teachers but doctors. should i just change it?

im sorry for the long sentances. i have problems making short sentances for some reason.
LoliT   
Aug 22, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal? [24]

oh my sister didnt tell me it was the easiest course. im sorry if that wasnt clear im trying to fix it. she told me it was probably the hardest things to choose, as far as social worker/police officer goes I was never asked those ones. I never even really thought of those as professions for me. she did suggest teacher, but I didnt like the idea. thanks for the critiques.

goodness i really didnt see how broad/vague this essay was, im glad i put it here.
LoliT   
Aug 22, 2009
Undergraduate / Andover High School; My summer - Umichigan Application [10]

With the first essay, i got a little lost especially with the ending. how did your unique reasoning contribute? what is it like? i never heard of it it was just that you put up fliers and found 5 people and it was a great expirience. could you maybe explain why the expirience was worthwhile?

i liked the second paragraph all the way to the part when you start "While our team studied, I had the opportunity to work with some of the brightest students in our grade."

and for the second essay, i would like you to explain that maybe you liked how your summer turned out even thought the summer program didnt work. it sounded like you ended up with that summer and it happened and yeah it wasnt the program you wanted but you still had an almost exciting summer. so try to maybe make it sound a little more chipper, it sounds sad cause you didnt get in. also the ending you could turn into something like

"thanks to that expirience i know that dwelling on the past wont solve anything and in the future i will look with my head high, not flip out and think up solutions/not waste time". maybe something like that so that you can show that that is how you would act in the future to situations like that.

just my two cents.
LoliT   
Aug 21, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal? [24]

wow ok so now that the anxiety of getting liebe's comment is out, i must say im glad for it. thanks so much for the critiques, i have as much respect for your comments as i do fear of them. I shall get to work on it, i didnt notice the professor x thing.

i was trying to communicate like when i saw x men and stuff yes they did blow up stuff but i used to see it as the way that they helped each other out in that building. like when jean would have problems with her powers or rouge they would run to proffesor x or wolverine and try to get help/ have it fixed, as i grew up i saw being a doctor as the same thing so i chose to be a doctor over being a leader/teacher because i wanted to be the one they ran to in pain not in confusion of a subject. ill try to clear that up in my essay.
LoliT   
Aug 19, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal? [24]

thank you for the advice ill try to make it more concise, as far as the first paragraph goes ill go looking to see how to do a good intro because i dont know if i can do that good of one right off the bat.

when you say show some awareness into the fact that things might change should i include another paragraph describing or just put in info to show awareness? im not sure about how the readers of it will like it but i fear making it too long that it counts against me.

following my heart? ill ask my sister and see her advice on titles too.

thank you very much for the comments i really appreciate it.
LoliT   
Aug 19, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal? [24]

So i guess this fits under topic of choice. just grammer feedback or story feedback, ANY feedback would be appreciated. thank you.
PS; conclusion is bad, im a little stuck on it.
Pss:i dont know what to title this really

Ever since I was the age of six I have known that I was going to grow up to become a doctor. This is simply because I was informed at that age that doctor fit the requirements I had already set forth- to help people. As I left middle school I came to the conclusion that heart surgeon was the track to go down, and since then it has been the only profession that I see myself doing.

As a child I didn't grow up with all the things that some kids can take for granted. Dinner was usually potatoes and tuna with maybe beans on Friday, toys weren't abundant in my house, and my mom was busy most days working to support us so she couldn't play with us. One thing I did have however was television, every day I used to sit and watch things like X-Men and power rangers, how people who were different used what made them different or special to help people and make a difference. I wanted to be like them, I wanted to help, and people had already told me I was especially smart, so why shouldn't I use this specialness about me to help people? Thanks to my intelligence I already knew that there was no such thing as super powers and power rangers, but I also knew that I could still help people without them, I just had to find out how.

It used to bother me that my mother was unable to spend a lot of time with us, I wanted to talk with her and ask her things like how to help people without super powers and what she thought of my pictures, but it wasn't that bad since my sister took her place when she wasn't there. My sister would hear out my thoughts and help me sort out what I wanted, even though at that age all I knew was that I wanted to help people and make a difference, like Professor X in X men who took all mutant kids to his place to train them so they can help people. My sister told me of careers as a teacher or leader or politician, but none of this fit right to me, so she suggested other professions like lawyer or architect since I liked to draw and was good at arguing, and then doctor. I asked for details on them and how hard they would be, being a little kid a lot of work wasn't appealing to me, so she explained how difficult it would be and that the rewards were well worth the work and after a couple of minutes I decided that I would become a doctor.

Middle school was a tough time for me since I didn't fit in with most students. Back then most of the students wanted to be famous like P Diddy or Shaq, whereas I just wanted to be a doctor like the ones on the commercials happily helping the injured. When kids in my class knew all the new and "in" dance moves and song lyrics, I knew the precise moment to snap my fingers and sing along to the Addams family theme song, when parents didn't allow kids to go out they would lie or sneak out to hang with friends, while I would stay at home with my sister talking or trying to figure out the big words in stories I didn't understand. But when I was in eighth grade I had a wonderful English teacher who asked me one day which type of doctor I wanted to be, a surgeon or a diagnostic? I wasn't aware that there were different types so naturally I went home and asked my sister, she explained both types and what they do. Surgeons seemed more hands on so I picked that one; my sister also explained that you can specialize in a field and told me of heart surgeons and brain surgeons who were the hardest two. Brain surgery sounded cool and I did like the brain but I decided on the heart because I follow my head so much I thought I should follow a heart too sometimes.

Time has passed since those days yet my ultimate goal still stands tall. True other things have been flitting through my mind that do distract me from time to time, but its only fleeting, after all I have many more years to worry about finding my own Gomez Addams and having my own little Wednesday and Pugsley to take care of. Until those goals are reached I am happy to stay on the track to becoming a heart surgeon and helping people just like the heroes on television did.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳