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Posts by sleepycorndogs
Name: Allana Gabrielle Caldwell
Joined: Nov 29, 2016
Last Post: Dec 1, 2016
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
Likes: 5
From: United States
School: Stillwater High School

Displayed posts: 8
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sleepycorndogs   
Dec 1, 2016
Undergraduate / Rice University - cultural perspective essay [2]

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What personal perspective would you contribute to life at Rice? (500 word limit)

Christmas dinners at my grandma's house have never consisted of just the traditional pecan pie and mashed potatoes. Even prior to my birth, my family had a split Christmas, with one side of the kitchen stockpiled with dishes of green bean casserole and corn and the other with traditional Filipino dishes like lumpia and chicken adobo. Food has always made me feel more connected to both my Filipino and American cultures. Every time I've sat at my grandma's scratched wooden table to dig into a plate of pancit while my cousin ate a slice of honey-glazed ham, I was reminded of my blended heritage. My childhood exposure to Filipino food also made me more open to the cultures of others. From day one I've had to accept that there's more than just one type of food or one type of language. Even before I started kindergarten, I had grown accustomed to hearing my grandmother yelling at one of her siblings in Tagalog over the phone. So while my four-year-old peers had stared at our pre-k teacher like she had grown a second head when she started our rudimentary Spanish unit, I picked up on it quick. I would bring home Spanish language coloring sheets and try to teach my parents Spanish. I was so excited I must have told my poor dad that "manzana" was Spanish for apple hundreds of times.

My curiosity regarding the different languages and cultures of the world didn't stop there. Over these past thirteen years of school, I've met a myriad of ethnically diverse students. Some of my best friends have been from Thailand, from Nepal, from Jordan. Although some of my friends have shied away from food from other countries, I'm always eager to try something new. For example, last year during my friend's graduation party, several of my friends turned their nose up at the Thai food offered to them. Even though my friend was polite in response to this, it was obvious that she was slightly offended. I made a point to grab extra of everything in front of her even though I had never tried any of it before. While I mostly did that to be supportive of my friend, I also did it just because I was excited to experience her culture through the likes of jook and other dishes. I'm a firm believer in the use of food as a bridge between cultures and people, something that's evident in the range of food I eat.

Food isn't just something consumed to gain energy, just as language isn't something Instead, these things are indicators of any one person's identity, culture, or upbringing. Someone who dines on Twinkies and Doritos is going to have a much different culture than someone who eats dried squid and seaweed for a snack. I believe I can impact the students of Rice by encouraging them to be open-minded about all aspects of culture and leading by example, fork and knife in hand.
sleepycorndogs   
Dec 1, 2016
Undergraduate / Anecdote for Essay: ( Which one are you Again?) Memoirs of an Identical Twin [3]

The participants, unbeknownst to them, included our classmates and teachers.Our participants in this devious study were our unwitting students and teachers

SotThat morning instead ...

No one seemed to be able to notice our scheme, noteven the teacher remained unaware even when I had to ...

discovered I was an imposter; however, by the end of the day, we havehad gotten away with it.

KnowingThe knowledge that not even my best friends couldn'tcould differentiate (...) bothered me relentlessly.

I wasn't my own person, I had to share my identity with another.; rather, I was just the second half to a shared identity.

That realization was the blossoming of myled to me developing a tendency to go out and experience things on my own.of going out and experiencing things for myself--alone. "

Great essay besides these few little changes that would make the flow better! Hope you get into your college :)
sleepycorndogs   
Dec 1, 2016
Undergraduate / Frog. Deefrog. Froggy. UVA Essay: Favorite Word (Odd but unique essay) (250 words) [5]

...my close friends preferchoose to refer to me as an small, slimy amphibious animal.

... it has replaced my name.but insteadRather, it is used by my (...) of excitement or to show affection in a humorous way.as a humorous sign of their affection.

...it has gained a deeper meaning.

...havingsocializing with my friends.

Constant lLaughter often accompanies....

...symbolizes the one of a kindone-of-a-kind...

It represents the fact that I am a good listener ...(I'd personally either cut this out completely or move it to earlier in the essay where you're still explaining why people call you frog)

Other than those few grammar and style things, Nice essay, Frog!
sleepycorndogs   
Nov 29, 2016
Undergraduate / It only took about 10 years of public schooling for me to finally appreciate science. [2]

For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words or less)

It only took about 10 years of public schooling for me to finally appreciate science as not just a grade on my report card but also as something that could be so versatile as to wow a crowd one moment and save lives the next. Every science class I'd had before Mrs. Gurley's Pre-AP Chemistry/Physics class had been textbook based, experiments few and far between. Although that can be a viable way to learn some concepts, science is primarily a learning based in experimentation. For example, the first day of class we made buttermilk pancakes in order to better understand scientific procedure and the basis of chemical reactions. Learning about acid and base reactions through buttermilk and baking soda in pancakes was a creative way our teacher made science something tangible to us. We went on to do other exciting experiments like better understanding the laws of physics by pushing Mrs. Gurley's Honda Civic around the school parking lot, and burning different chemicals over bunsen burners to examine their flame colors. That class also proved to me just how closely science and math could be intertwined, introducing equation balancing and physics equations into my life. It wasn't until I had my first biology class did I realize that biochemistry was the college major for me. Even without the innovative experiments Mrs. Gurley provided for us, learning about DNA and the chemical components of the human body made up for the dullness of the teaching style employed by my biology teacher.
sleepycorndogs   
Nov 29, 2016
Undergraduate / What was the surroundings in which you grew up? Explain how it shaped you as a person. [5]

He would miss a majority of my Kindergarten ...

... ensure we facilitated the transition, not make it arduous. facilitated and arduous don't match the diction in the rest of your essay. I'd keep one or the other but not both

everything I set my heart and mind to (kind of a cliche, but your choice)
sleepycorndogs   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary: What Your Social Media Profile Photo Says About Your Personality [4]

Social media has become a need to everyone in the world. People upload profile photosinto their social media profiles and it willalmost always describes their personalitypersonalities. There arehas been an attempt made to match the profile pictures of about 66,000 Twitter ...

Preoţiuc-Pietro (give more detail as to who this is) and his colleagues ...
It is doneThey did this to quickly categorize ...
On the other hand,Unfortunately,fromof the group of 66,000 individuals analyzed only 434 which completed athe traditional psychological survey offered. extraversion, (...) personality traits whichthat were scored by users. The research showed a correlation relationship between test results ...

... the University of Cambridge stated that the analysis of the profile pictures arewere not enough ...
... a person's personality by combinecombining the analysis (...) and thestatuses of social media users. (ending statement about your position??)
sleepycorndogs   
Nov 29, 2016
Undergraduate / Essay about failure in musical theatre resulting in success in opera - common app prompt [4]

@Holt
The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

This is the original prompt. Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I'll definitely revise my essay. Also, I notice you're a very active member on here and have a quick question about this website in general. Is it considered rude to post a lot of essays to get feedback at one time? I just found this website and I'm currently applying to six colleges, four of which I already have all the essays written, just not entirely revised. Thanks again!!!
sleepycorndogs   
Nov 29, 2016
Undergraduate / Essay about failure in musical theatre resulting in success in opera - common app prompt [4]

I was in the second grade when I had my first theater performance. My mom had forced me to join the local children's theater troupe in hopes that my knack for singing pop songs in key would be refined into something a little more...marketable. Unfortunately, her plan backfired when I failed my audition for the role of Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Jr. and lost the part to a fifth grader. Instead, it was decided that my round and pudgy seven year old figure would be better suited for the part of an Oompa Loompa. I was so upset being casted as an extra along with the rest of the untalented "little kids" that I cried during our first three rehearsals. Even during our performances of the infantilized show, I couldn't help but look around at the rest of the orange painted children surrounding me and feel like a complete disappointment. That one failure scared me away from auditioning for better parts for several years afterwards. I went on to be an unnamed Who in Horton Hears a Who and Goat #2 in Three of a Kind, a story about the different triads in nursery rhymes that focused on the story of the three little bears. I took on these insignificant roles defeatedly, accepting that the role our theater director assigned to me was what she thought was best suited for me. I saw these parts as insignificant and unimportant, a waste of my time.

Two years into my auditioning dry-spell, my theater troupe's music director began offering singing lessons. My mom immediately signed me up for weekly lessons hoping that this little bolster to my confidence would be the ticket to getting me bigger and better roles. What she didn't expect was for me to start singing opera at the startling age of nine. The first operatic piece I ever performed was Giuseppe Giordani's "Caro Mio Ben", and I completely butchered it. I respired at random intervals, phrasing the last thing on my mind. I was given the sheet music by Mrs. Albright, who thought my youthful soprano voice might be well suited to opera. Unfortunately, the only thing I knew about written music was how the duration of the notes themselves worked and nothing about the pitches on the staff. I was an inexperienced singer to say the least. Despite my concerns about performing such a challenging piece, to my surprise I impressed the audience of soccer moms and wrinkled grandparents. People I didn't even know came up to me afterwards and congratulated me on what they considered to be an outstanding performance. Although I continued to participate in theater productions, I shifted most of my attention to opera from that point on.

Immediately following my Oompa Loompa debacle, I thought I wasn't meant to perform. I saw theater, acting, and singing as just a chore. Performing was something that had to be done rather than something I wanted to do. It wasn't until I experienced this failure that I was able to find my true niche: opera. I stopped worrying about what part I would get during my audition and instead focused on singing the music and in turn ended up getting better roles. I went from being an unnamed Who to being Lily St. Regis in the troupe's production of Annie Jr., and I gained a confidence in my abilities as a performer that I had never had before. If I hadn't failed that first audition, I would never have discovered my passion for opera. Although I've stopped performing in musicals and plays, I've continued taking opera lessons, and I owe it all to my humble beginnings as an unhappy Oompa Loompa.
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