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Posts by ichaa
Name: icha
Joined: Nov 30, 2016
Last Post: Jan 5, 2017
Threads: 4
Posts: 3  

From: Indonesia
School: english studio

Displayed posts: 7
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ichaa   
Jan 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication, however I disagree... [5]

it is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that if it may not be the best place to find informaton

common beliefs on the internet usefulness



Everyone has different views to mean the function of internet. Many people believe that internet is very useful for all of people to communication but others claim that internet is not the best way to look for information. This essay would explain about both these views and give my best opinion.

It is common for many people that internet is the best place for communication. There are several internet users using it owing to many function. Firstly, internet is media to keep a good relationship between people especially their parents. It is enjoyed for them which are so far away from their relatives. Then internet is a place which give condition about ourselves more information. However, others suggest that it is not be the best place to gain detail information because nowadays internet gives negative things for people in particular the children. when children look for information about their subjects from school but internet shows the secret video. As a result, children which have been looked at the secret video tend to watch again.

I truly believe that internet is not become the best way to search more information because we can gain it from other place as older people who obtain information with directly face the condition. They tend to go surrounding in their community. From it, they get important thing who they need without using the internet.

It is generally when people have different opinions about internet but I absolutely against argue regarding internet is an excellent means of communication with many people.
ichaa   
Jan 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / The graph below gives information about how much people in the United States and the United Kingdom [2]

Analysis of the petrol expenditures



The line graph shows that plenty of drivers spend petrol in the United Kingdom and the united states. Overall, it can be seen that people more spend petrol in the richest in the United Kingdom than the United States.

Turning to a more detailed analysis in the United Kingdom, the drivers who spend petrol start from 0% in the poorest afterwards it is a rapid increase until in the middle-income and reach almost 4% of income. However, the percentage of the United Kingdom is under than United States of America but the income is increased and overtook the US' position at 4%. At the end of richest, the drivers who spend petrol in the United Kingdom fall slowly below 4% but it is still become the highest percentage.

Turning to another comparison, people spend petrol in the United states to become the biggest starting at 3.9% and it is a marked growth and almost reach a peak at 5.2% of income. Interestingly, the highest percentage of the United States the poorest because that scale fall down rapidly in the middle-income. Then, there is a decreased trend again in the richest even the proportion of drivers' petrol is below than the United Kingdom's rate at 2.3%.




ichaa   
Jan 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / Citizens impression on the WWW cyberspace [2]

Hi, Mr. septa!
actually I appropriate the meaning of your essay, but unfortunately you haven't done your essay 250 words
then I have a few suggestions, let's check it

becomeBecoming the greatest communication services nowA dayS , but there (...) in internet for to find ( mr. you have to notice that FOR + Ving ) information and people ...

i am ( agree is verb) agree to say that internet itsIS benefit communication services, because using of (...) people not only in real life but also in virtual life. ( Not only S + V , but also S + V)

There are many benefits using the internet. (i think you have to explain the detail benefts)
ichaa   
Jan 4, 2017
Writing Feedback / The proportion of primary need expenditures in Malaysia and Japan in 2010 [2]

Spendings in Asia in the pie charts



The pie charts present the proportion of primary need expenditures in Malaysia and Japan in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the smallest percentage of spending money was health care in two countries.

Turning to a more detailed analysis, housing was the largest expenditure in Malaysia at 34% whereas this only accounted for more than a fifth in Japan, making it occupy the third rate. Interestingly, food came in the second place in both countries at 27% and 24% respectively. Meanwhile, other goods and services were in third position in Malaysia with percentage approximately 26%. The largest proportion witnessed in Japan and making it stand in the first rate with the percentage of about 29%.

Turning to another comparison, the lowest proportion of spending household in both countries was in transport and health care with each different percentage of primary need. However, a domination with more than double was seen in Japan.




ichaa   
Jan 4, 2017
Writing Feedback / Pie Chart Task 1 IELTS Sample: typical house spendings in Japan and Malaysia [7]

The pie chart pay attention about how many pie chart that you show, there are 2 pie charts compares the proportion family ...

other goods and services figureSwasWERE the most popular in ...

Next, transport spending of household (it is better to add )was the second ...
ichaa   
Jan 4, 2017
Undergraduate / For aliens, my life may seem like a dead plant. [12]

... sweet onions - they're not only tasty, but also multi-layered.I consider that you have to pay attention about this words, not only S + V, but also S+ V.

My home was ] this is passive voice and the meaning not appropriate the sentences, you must just write located at the center...

i think you also have to pay attention with your tense
ichaa   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Popularity of the specialist, grammar and voluntary-controlled schools on three periods [3]

The table presents that the percentages of students attending secondary school types in three years of 2000, 2005 and 2009. Overall, the specialist schools, grammar schools and voluntary-controlled schools experienced decrease who students attended between 2000 and 2009. Meanwhile, the community schools climbed and became the highest percentage of students who attending secondary school in the same period.

Between 2000 and 2005, the percentage of specialist schools declined roughly 1% from 12% to 11% and it had the similar pattern by 2009. In the grammar schools percentage rapidly dropped in the every period (2000, 2005 and 2009) slightly under 25%, moved at 19% and then stood at 12%.

After 5 years the proportion showed several changes, While voluntary-controlled schools started getting fewer students (38%), community schools began getting far more students (32%) than this type of schools had 5 years earlier. At the last in 2009, the community schools had more than a half of result secondary rate and became the highest proportion among given pupils type.




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