Undergraduate / Harvard Supplemental - branching out from my academic comfortable zone [2]

I chose to write on a topic of my choice, but it sort of falls under the prompt asking about "an intellectual experience that has meant the most to you". Is the content intriguing enough? Is it all over the place or does it have a sense of structure?

The Value of Academic Diversity

Moving across the country at 17 was daunting in itself, not to mention the frustration that would come with maintaining stability in my education. If I wanted to remain an International Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma candidate and continue my intriguingly challenging course load, I was going to have to pick up a new Higher Level (HL) course, requiring me to pack two years of learning into one. I knew that this was going to be extremely strenuous, and even had second thoughts about continuing to pursue the IB Diploma because of it. But there was no way that I was going to let the work I'd already put in go to waste, nor give in to the temptation of relaxing my course load. So I began laying out my options: HL Biology, HL Math, or HL Film. I have some background in biology, and even more thorough experience with math, but I'd never taken a film class, nor given a second thought to filmmaking in my life. Thus, HL Film naturally seemed to be the most fitting journey to embark on.

Admittedly, coming into the class I felt intimidated by the fact that I was the only one with zero film background--I didn't even know how to hold a camera, let alone perform the actual filmmaking process. However, I love English, and figured that film is nothing more than literature in a cinematic context. I wasn't completely wrong; my strength in English class did help me understand fundamental cinematic concepts. For instance, framing and lighting techniques in film are similar to literature devices in that they both can convey a greater message than what's perceived directly through dialogue. I owe my success in my film class primarily to this interdisciplinary mode of thinking.

I've never considered myself an artistically creative person; from painting to creative writing, the arts and I have never had any sort of harmony.To take a visual arts course, especially at the most advanced level offered in my school, is something I never could have imagined myself doing. Nonetheless, I grew to truly enjoy films and filmmaking, and turned out to be fairly decent in the subject despite my inexperience. Contrary to my previous experiences with creative arts, what I found appealing was that, in film, you're working with the real world, telling a story through a camera lens that captures what already exists.

In hindsight, I'm so glad that I took the initiative to diversify my education and branch out from my academic comfortable zone. I discovered a new interest, and perhaps a new hobby if I ever get my hands on my own camera and editing software. My experience with my first semester of IB Film has shown me that academic diversity is truly something to cherish. That's why Harvard's system is so appealing to me--its academically flexible liberal arts curriculum makes academic diversity a reality. At Harvard, I know I'd be able to pursue my vocational interests in global relations/health while also dabbling in other academic interests that allow me to be a more well-rounded student.

As for my film class, perhaps my new interest made transferring schools a little less daunting.

Undergraduate / Pitzer, what's next? College Supplemental - Pitzer's 5 Core Values [3]

I think my conclusion is pretty weak but I don't have enough words to make it longer, is there anything I could eliminate that seems redundant or unnecessary? Also, it feels like a report--I couldn't find a way to make this prompt intriguing. Any advice on making it more interesting and less resume-ish?

Prompt: At Pitzer College, five core values distinguish our approach to education: social responsibility, intercultural understanding, interdisciplinary learning, student engagement, and environmental sustainability. As agents of change, our students utilize these values to create solutions to our world's challenges. (650 words)

implementing Pitzer's core values

Reflecting on your involvement throughout high school or within the community, how have you engaged with one or more of Pitzer's core values?

*note: their website has more information detailing the core values, and they are more inclusive than exclusive. ie, intercultural understanding does not necessarily refer to cultures relating to ethnicity or background, but general diversity in terms of academic interests, perspectives, etc.

As a student aspiring to contribute to relief for global welfare issues through whichever direction my passion leads me, Pitzer's core values tell me that we're simply a match made in heaven. Accordingly, three of Pitzer's core values align with what I've made of my high school experience: social responsibility, intercultural understanding, and interdisciplinary learning. I owe this primarily to the International Baccalaureate (IB) program curriculum and Peer Mediation, a club at my previous school of which I was a committee leader. Both of these enhancing opportunities have served as foundations upon which I've been able to impact my school's community and diversify my academic experience by investigating perspectives and trying new disciplines.

Part of my commitment to my community through Peer Mediation was to formally mediate and de-escalate individual disputes among students, and be a generally positive force among the student body. Over my three years serving in this club, I've carried out several of these confidential mediations, ranging from serious and threatening issues to trivial, "he-said-she-said" drama. What I loved about mediations is that I was able to help combat the immediate conflicts plaguing the solidarity of my school by working from the root causes, breaking them down, and tackling them step-by-step. Walking down the hallway and running into someone I'd done a mediation for always brought a smile to my face and theirs, reminding me that what I'm doing for my community has an actual impact--it's not just a resume booster. Because of Peer Mediation, I've developed a community-minded mentality in my interactions with others; from my closest loved ones to complete strangers, I'm learning to step outside of myself and be of service to others.

The IB Theory of Knowledge (TOK) course promotes intercultural understanding in the way that I think about current events, specifically in how there is no black and white in TOK. In our Ethics unit, my class had a discussion on the ethics of space exploration and colonization of Mars, which showed me that, looking at the issue from every perspective, there is never a right or wrong answer in issues like this. TOK is all about examining the extent to which a question can be answered, which has helped me understand that almost nothing is definite; instead, everything is circumstantial, so we should consider all perspectives before making judgements. Likewise, my previous school's phenomenal IB French department breeds students that are not only proficient in the language, but also in the arts, customs, leisures, foods, and, most excitingly, perspectives of regions within the ethnically diverse francophone world. My source-based written project for the IB French exam, for example, allowed me to explore the issue of islamophobia from both the French perspective and the Arab perspective. Even more directly, exchanging worldviews, interests, and habits with my French pen pal is the closest I've come to physically experiencing France.

Transferring schools prompted me to take up a new IB Higher Level (HL) course in order to continue my IB diploma candidacy: HL Film. Coming into the class, I admit I felt intimidated as the only student with zero background in the subject. However, I love English, and figured that film is nothing more than a visualization of literature in a cinematic context. Connecting the two disciplines gave me a much better understanding of many fundamental ideas in film. For instance, framing and lighting techniques in film are similar to literature devices in that they both can convey a greater message than what's perceived directly through dialogue. To an extent, I attribute this interdisciplinary mode of thinking to TOK, which developed within me an inclination towards considering key issues in one subject in relation to other subjects.

In four years, I hope that I will look back on where I am now, and how I've expanded on implementing Pitzer's core values throughout my college years. Logically, my next question: Pitzer, what's next?

WC: 648

Undergraduate / Barnard college supplemtals//Why Barnard//Woman in History//Majoring in Unafraid [2]

I really need feedback on these content and grammar-wise. Anything is helpful. And I have no idea how to finish off the second one, so any advice on that is much appreciated.

A. What factors influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College and why do you think the College would be a good match for you? (100-250 words)

If I could personify Barnard College with human physique and character, she'd be tall and majestically framed with an enthralling, dauntless way about her that could make anyone who was fortunate enough to be in the same room as her drop their conversation and zone in on what she has to say. And what she said spoke to me quite plainly. Of course I can't express it with the same eloquence she exerted, but it was something along these lines: "I'll make my mark on this world, and I won't allow my femininity to diminish the impact. If you let me, I can make your passion and enthusiasm harmonize with your academic pursuit, and engulf you in empowerment and women's excellence." I guess you could say that I was, without a doubt, thoroughly captivated at that point.

From what a Barnard alumna has told me of her experience, she has yet to find other college alumni whose confidence and audacity match that of Barnard women. I want in on everything that that statement implies about the environment in which Barnard women are bred. That's why Barnard is my first choice; from the Global Symposia to the school's location in America's most multicultural city, I know that Barnard is the perfect place for me to expand upon my newfound interests in global welfare and intercultural understanding. I so vividly see myself walking through those Barnard gates, challenging my limits, and investigating diverse perspectives among this fearlessly driven community of female intellect.

B. Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about? (100-250 words)

As a fellow Georgia native and devoted Christian, I have an affinity for the mid-20th century writer, Flannery O'Connor. Her stories go beyond the purpose of storytelling; in such a uniquely powerful way, she teaches me about God, grace, humility, and much more through her characters and their oversights. She isn't afraid to shock her readers through the sometimes harsh social commentary found in between her carefully composed lines. Timelessly relevant, her stories' shock factor has held a grip on my attention since I first began reading her work about a year ago.

Perhaps a picnic in a field in her hometown of Milledgeville, GA would be a suitable place for us to discuss our spirituality and faith, and how her fatal health condition influenced her final, darkest stories. The conversation couldn't go without me applauding her bold yet solicitous concern for the well-being of society's morals. However, I wouldn't feel satisfied without asking about her criticism of MLK as not being "the age's greatest saint", and of the "philosophizing prophesying pontificating kind, the James Baldwin kind" of black people that influenced the Civil Rights Movement.

C. Alumna and writer Anna Quindlen says that she "majored in unafraid" at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid. (100-250 words)

Moving across the country at 17 was daunting in itself, not to mention the anxiety that would come with re-establishing myself in a new community and maintaining stability in my education. If I wanted to remain an International Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma candidate, I was going to have to pick up a new Higher Level (HL) course, since my new school doesn't provide HL French or Economics. Initially, my only options were HL Biology or Math, until I found out that my school had recently opened up an HL Film course. I'd never taken a film class, or even given a second thought to filmmaking in my life. Thus, HL Film naturally seemed to be the most fitting journey to embark on.

Admittedly, coming into the class I felt intimidated by the fact that I was the only one with zero film background--I didn't even know how to hold a camera, forget about the actual filmmaking process. However, I love English, and figured that film is nothing more than literature in a cinematic context. I wasn't completely wrong, and my strength in English did help me a lot, but what I did not predict is how my mindset would totally change as it relates to cinema. I can't even watch movies anymore without considering, for instance, how the cinematographer's choice of framing comments on the role of women in society. Now, I'm so glad I grabbed the opportunity to discover a field that I never knew I'd come to love.

Undergraduate / My blackness. Common Application Essay: Problem you'd like to solve - limiting circumstances [4]

Can I get some feedback on the content and grammar in my essay? I only have a little over a week to get this and my supplemental essays submitted!

Prompt: Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

My blackness

My blackness used to hit me like a truck when I walked into a room full of non-black people. Particularly when I lived in Georgia, my community had a good mix of white, black, and Latino demographics, but if I was the sole black person among a group of people, I noticed it immediately and, sometimes, felt out of place. As I grow more socially aware, I notice more and more the way that racial stereotypes and profiling have an indirectly negative impact on the way we see ourselves, particularly within the black community. Don't take me wrongly, I am fully aware that we don't live in the 50's anymore, and that it's very possible for black people to thrive in any aspect of society. This essay isn't a plea for pity; instead, it is an acknowledgement of the fact that racial stereotypes, profiling, and a long history of institutional neglect have made their wear and tear on the black community of today, especially on the motivation and achievement of our youth. In the future, I'd like to see more black youth step out of the bubble in which we're subconsciously placed, work against the school-to-prison pipeline, and defy the very stereotypes that tell us we're incompetent. As an African-American, and, more specifically, a Nigerian, I feel strongly about my responsibility to represent both communities well in everything that I do, from my future career, right down to effort I put into my classes.

Achieving highly doesn't mean that I want every black person to get a PhD in astrophysics, nor does it mean that we should ban fried chicken and watermelon. It means that we should strive to make the most of our circumstances, however limiting they may be. After being told for centuries that we're lazy, we're criminals, we're naturally inclined to be violent and unpredictable, etc., a cycle ensues: people that happen to be black are seen portraying these stereotypes, it becomes reinforced in society that this is a good representation of who black people are, and this subconsciously hinders a portion of the black community from thinking they "belong" in certain positions or that we could be anything greater than what our stereotypes tell us. Combined with the lack of representation in government, Hollywood, and other powerful industries, this is enough to redirect the aspirations of a young black student living in a poverty-stricken inner city area. Too often, their new aspirations can lead to less honorable ways of making a living, or not living up to the full potential they were made for.

Clearly, this cycle can't be easily broken; we can't force everyone to suddenly boost their work ethic overnight. I do, however, think that the most effective way to motivate the youth to achieve greater is for already high-achieving black students to empower those less motivated. It's without doubt that my own achievements wouldn't have been likely if I wasn't surrounded by other students, who look like me, push themselves forward in and outside of academics. Even Peer Mediation, a club I'm grateful to have been a part of at my previous school, is a great example of how guidance from high-achieving students can positively influence the behavior and awareness of an entire student population. If students within the black community in particular would imitate this system on a larger scale, the academic performance of black youth could soar, leading to much greater representation in all industries in the future and more motivation for the next generation of young black students. In order to prevent more young black girls from feeling like they don't belong in certain settings because of their race, we need to show society that we are capable of so much more than our stereotypes. We will not accept restriction, restraint, nor regulation based on them. Instead, we will be uplifted, successful, and purposeful despite them.

Word Count: 646