Undergraduate / Queen's Commerce: Describe the most important constructive criticism you have received [2]

Describe the most important constructive criticism you have received. How did you respond and what did you learn?
Queen's seeks candidates who are well prepared academically and who, through their interests, experience and leadership, can contribute to and benefit from a stimulating intellectual climate and be successful after graduation.

I am worried my response doesn't flow as well as it should, and I am not demonstrating that I learned something from my criticism. Additionally, I am 20 words over...is there anything less relevant I could cut out?

many tasks at once

I am part of the events committee in my band's leadership executive, consisting of eight Grade 11 and 12 students. Our first project was to plan a roller skating event. Since I was the only new Grade 12 member, I felt pressure to prove that I was a valuable contributor. As a result, I tried to take on as many tasks as possible. I created informational posters, sold tickets, and looked after admissions logistics. During a group meeting discussing event check-in, I volunteered to take charge. Two others offered to help, but I declined their offer, telling them I already established a plan for the task. My another Grade 12 confronted me, telling me that I needed to be more inclusive in terms of sharing the tasks. I was not working like I was part of the team, as I was taking on initiatives without consulting with the group first.

After the meeting, I felt conflicted. I thought I was demonstrating my commitment to the group, but instead, I was being too domineering. My team member's criticism made me reflect on my role as a team member. While taking control of tasks allowed me to contribute my own ideas, it didn't allow for collaboration between me and my other team members.

At the following meeting discussing promotions, I directly asked the members if there were tasks that interested them. As each member communicated their ideas, I realized our diversity in skills and perspectives could maximize our outreach to the students. We utilized everyone's ideas, advertising through various mediums such as Snapchat, posters, and skits.

Currently, I remain consistent in ensuring each member has an opportunity to express their opinions and contribute to our projects. I also make an effort to provide an opportunity for my other group members to help out. Through this experience, I learned that being an active listener provides a chance for the best ideas to be shared.

Undergraduate / Queen's University Commerce Application Essay [2]

How will you use the opportunities at Queen's Commerce to create a university experience that is right for you?
Queen's seeks candidates who are well prepared academically and who, through their interests, experience and leadership, can contribute to and benefit from a stimulating intellectual climate and be successful after graduation.

right university experience

As a student of Queen's Commerce, I will participate in many conferences, so I can gain professional experience. These events will allow me to prepare me for a business work setting as I collaborate with my peers and network with professionals. In particular, I plan to take part in the Queen's Sports Industry Conference. As an athlete, I have always been interested in the role of sponsorship in professional athletics, and it would be exciting to analyze the business concepts behind it. The opportunity to experience an agency simulation would also help me develop as an effective communicator in a team environment.

Additionally, I will join the Queen's Commerce Performing Artists. I am currently part of the events committee in my band's leadership executive, and I hope to bring my experience to help organize music events that promote a sense of community. My involvement will allow me to continue improving my leadership skills, and my passion for event planning.

Another aspect I am very enthusiastic about is the exchange opportunity at Spain's IE Business School. I have been studying Spanish, and going on an exchange to a Spanish university will be a practical way to learn how business is applied in a different culture. My interaction with the people there will also allow me to strengthen my communication skills and widen my network.

My participation in the conferences, clubs, and exchanges will help me create meaningful connections with people who share my interests. More importantly, I will have learned the necessary practical and social skills that I can apply to my career, giving me confidence to push myself to continuously improve as a leader in the workplace.