Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by zaraSmart
Name: Z
Joined: Jan 7, 2017
Last Post: Sep 26, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  
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Displayed posts: 6
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zaraSmart   
Sep 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / 'Experiences, moments, and events all have an impact on our life' - Defining Moment: Paragraph [5]

I guess it's perfectly fine. You're telling a story about this personal experience and talking to your audience. It sounds natural even as an assignment. Nevertheless you can wait for your teacher's answer.

I think you can expand the part which you mentioned the impacts... Specifically why this taught you the importance of friendship. This isn't so obvious in your current text. Although you didn't use the help of people around.. How could you appreciate it? Explain this part a little bit and it would be great

By the way thanks for ur comment on my essay. Totally useful
zaraSmart   
Sep 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / 'Experiences, moments, and events all have an impact on our life' - Defining Moment: Paragraph [5]

Hey friend
I'm not quite sure for what purpose this text is gonna be used, but I think it's impressive. Totally touched my heart as I was reading.

Regardless of how complicated can be teenage hood problems you explained briefly and clearly.
This could be an embarrassing kind of experience but the way you positively learned about friendship and trust.. is beautiful.
Good luck :)
zaraSmart   
Sep 9, 2018
Scholarship / What engineering means to me - pursuing success in Korea (mechanical engineering field) [3]

hello. your essay is quite smooth and almost all the topics are covered. I think it could be better talking about your special bound with korean language and culture more in motivation part of essay.

also in educational background you might want to add some information about classes and how they interested you or your grades.
I guess if the last part of essay which you talked about relation of korea and Dominican Republic was more brief, you could expand the closing part adding more influential sentences and making a better conclusion.

wish you luck with kgsp
Im applying too!
zaraSmart   
Sep 9, 2018
Scholarship / KGSP personal statement .. applying for second time after a rejection [6]

hello everyone. this is my PS for kgsp_Under. I applied last year.. they interviewed me and rejected me. I tried to answer step by step every topic which was mentioned in instruction. so I want to know the opinion of a third person. if you can tell me anything about it I will be thankful.

instruction : Motivations
- Personal background in family and education
- experiences ; risks and achievements
- Extracurricular activities or work experiences
- awards or skills you have acquired


Starting my high school has been a beginning for many good events in my life such as finding my true passions and talents. Since then, I realized that I like any field related to economic, trading, entrepreneurship and business and I have to prepare myself to enter this world for both education and occupation. This attitude helped me to use any possibilities to enhance my abilities and knowledge which I will mention them later, but I like to say a big part of my motivation to apply for this scholarship is because I believe korea and the whole kgsp program is a perfect opportunity for me to grow talents and specialize skills in my favorite major.

Another great motivation for me is that I love to learn about Korean culture and the language in an advanced level. I believe Korea has the best competitive atmosphere and facilities for pursuing higher education in business administration field. I think the combination of tradition and modernity has really effected on me about this country which I call moderation in a world full of extremism.

Besides I have been trying to study in korea for quite a long time and I realized this is my absolute dream and goal since I could not give up on it though there were some failures. Fortunately, I had this long time to think and plan about it; therefore I have a deep insight of my future career and life in there. So my major and passion for Korean language and lifestyle gives me enough reason and motivation for trying hard until I success and start my education in korea, no matter how long it will take.

In family, beside my parent I have just one elder brother and I am the first member of family who goes to university. I lived in a small town around capital with them until I ended up coming to Tehran, living in my aunt house for having better education. I spent last 2 years of my high school independent of my parent. This is a good factor showing I can be a responsible applicant who can handle a student life apart from family cause I already have this experience and I won't face major possible problems that other applicants might do.

My educational background includes a bright record of high GPAs for all 3 years and graduating with CGPA of around 96 percentages plus a good rank in national university exam and getting accepted in best Iranian university (Tehran University)

I have always loved my major (humanities) ever since I chose it and this passion for major plays a huge role in my success as it will surely happen in university again because I love business related areas. Achievements regarding languages include an IELTS certificate (band 7) which I took last year and a TOPIK (level 2) that I took this July.

All these educational achievements did not stop me from doing extra activities out of school. In fact I was a fond of experiencing jobs, learning new abilities and taking risks, so I did many related and influential activities during high school.

One example is participating in a business school for about one year in Sharif University (2014-2015) where I studied many lectures on entrepreneurship, creativity, marketing and etc. In second year of high school I could understand what is a business basic necessities, how to socialize with others in an academic environment and meet the best professors from all over the world ,Also making a wide range of different friends. By the end of this perfect period we had experienced a bunch of different team works, sessions and competitions which made us more mature about our personal and career life.

Due to my big achievements and interests in this field, authorities of business school chose me as a part of executive team for their second year of this program. Therefore I worked in entrepreneurship center of university in summer time and continued my work as a mentor during the year with new students.

After this voluntary work I found a part time job in a popular Tourism company named Marcopolo. This one lasted for about 2 years and I worked as a tourism website administrator.

I had to work at home because of my school but in any possible occasions I was there to help my other colleagues. My job was producing and translating essays, providing videos, photography, interviewing and etc. mostly as a journalist.

Another job that I have experienced is a small home business which I could prepare some home made products and sell them so I could earn my pocket money in summers. This gave me a wider view of producing, marketing and researching. This little home business which also counted as my first idea of entrepreneurship was even showed in a documentary film on Television.

From all I have experienced during these years, the ability of cooperating in team works and communicate with different people or ideas is a great skill that I acquired.

These events happened beside my education and impressed my attitude toward my future career
as they broaden my horizons step by step.

I think I am a deserved applicant because of my hard work and commitment. I never get disappointed of my failures, instead I always try to fix flaws and get back to the set goals until I can achieve them. For instance, since studying in korea has been my dream I got university admission once but financial setbacks didn't let me to move to korea, nevertheless I am applying again due to my passion, confidence and determination. Or when I took advanced TOPIK test and failed to qualify for level 3 with only 4 score needed more, I was encouraged to study harder for next exam. This is the lifestyle of a successful person in my opinion, no matter what's the result; always keep moving forward and all efforts certainly will pay off in the end.
zaraSmart   
Sep 7, 2018
Scholarship / Competitive educational system - MY PERSONAL STATEMENT #2 FOR KGSP [5]

Hey friend
I read your essay and i have to tell you that it's much like a study plan where you focused on why choosing this field.

I mean.. Im applying for kgsp too. I'm choosing business administration major. I think you wanted to talk about your motivation which you applied for kgsp... But you went too far and couldn't cover other questions. If you want to discuss why korea is a perfect place to study or why this major, you have to expand it in study plan where you are asked to talk about these things.

Anyway.. That's my personal idea. Hope we can both get kgsp. Good luck
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