Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Morgannh [Suspended]
Name: Morgan Hanner
Joined: Feb 19, 2017
Last Post: Feb 23, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: US
School: Everett Community College

Displayed posts: 4
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Morgannh   
Feb 23, 2017
Undergraduate / For the majority of my life, I underestimated the importance of physical health. Issue of Importance [3]

Topic E-
Choose an issue of importance to you-it could be personal, school-related, local, political or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community or your generation.

being healthy



For the majority of my life, I underestimated the importance of physical health. From the ages of about seven to eighteen, I struggled with my weight, which impacted my life in a lot of different negative ways. My eating habits were negligent and I was essentially inactive. Because of this unhealthy routine, I was tired, anxious, and fatigued almost all of the time.

When I was eighteen, I realized that I had no control over myself and that my weight was holding me back from fulfilling the life that I knew I wanted for myself. I let my impulses control me on a daily basis which was unhealthy both physically and mentally. Being overweight led me to feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin and because of this, I let my insecurities hold me back from countless experiences that I would have loved to participate in. Every time I turned down an opportunity because I didn't feel comfortable, it made me more anxious and aware of the fact that my vices were completely governing my entire existence. I finally reached a point where I realized that I had to overcome this mess before it started to affect my future.

The process of losing sixty pounds took about six months of me training my body to choose healthier options and exercise daily. At first, it was very difficult to stick to a routine because results were nowhere near immediate. It was always very hard for me to imagine waiting weeks to see progress, until people started to notice. Once this happened, it became easier for me to look in the mirror and make comparisons to where I was even just a week prior. The notice of physical changes was accompanied by mental changes as well. I felt happier and freer than ever before and my anxiety when it came to social situations was virtually non-existent.

Physical health is very important to me because I believe that it is a primary Segway into the health of mentality and outlook, which is the foundation for a happier life. When you exercise routinely and make valuable diet choices, you are exerting control over yourself, which can help in other aspects of life. For instance, in a professional environment employees are expected to maintain a positive and professional demeanor, which can surely be challenging in difficult situations. Social and financial control are also very valuable attributes to hold as well. In addition to this, when you have a healthy mentality, you also generally have a better grasp of your own self worth. Self worth is important because it can lead to a drive for success no matter the scope of the goal. Feeling empowered by yourself is an effective way of motivating yourself to achieving set goals.

The reason I want to participate in the Athletic training program at the University of Texas is so that I can take the path to becoming a sports medicine doctor. Physical activity and sports are a great way to build character and I want to be the person that makes sure athletes are in peak physical condition to do what they love. While tearing an MCL or ACL can be season-ending for an athlete, it does not mean that the injury has to be career ending. I have always been a huge fan of sports and I have the utmost respect and admiration for athletes who push the boundaries of what the human body is physically capable of. I want to be a part of the process of ensuring that these individuals have the strength that they need to avoid irreversible damage on their bodies.

Any feedback on this essay would be great! Thank you.
Morgannh   
Feb 23, 2017
Graduate / Persevering my dream. Self Introduction Letter for Graduate School. [5]

@pb1013
I think this sentence: "I always thank to my parents for their valuable time and support to me and ..." sounds a bit awkward. I would condense it a little and rearrange the wording. Maybe start with something like "I am grateful that my parents raised me and my brother...."

In the second paragraph you mention that you started to gain interest in health science while you were in high school. Was there something specific that made you interested? You should expand on exactly why you are interested in the field.

In the third paragraph, you say "not prohibited". Maybe just say that once you got to the University, you realized two courses of study were possible which meant you didn't have to choose.

I would just go back over the essay and really focus on sentence structure and proper grammar. Like in the first sentence "My name is Ana, a graduate in..". I don't think a comma works well here. It should just be My name is Ana and I am a graduate.... Just basic fixes like that.
Morgannh   
Feb 19, 2017
Scholarship / Born in Mexico City, moved to United States at age of 8. KGSP Self Introduction for Graduate School [3]

@Yennicall
So in the first paragraph, you mention that you're interested in cultures, specifically asian cultures. What aspects of the asian culture are you most intrigued by? You use the word "cultures" quite a few times, but didn't really specify the part of the cultures. We all know what culture is and what it means, but you should always treat your readers like they don't know what it means. So I would just go back and specify what you mean exactly.
Morgannh   
Feb 19, 2017
Undergraduate / My career path is not straight. College Transfer Essay - Statement of Purpose [2]

I am submitting my transfer essays soon and would love any feedback that anyone has on them! I really want to get into this school so please be very honest! Here is the prompt and essay:

The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences ...

changes in perception who i want to be



Throughout my childhood, my career aspirations have always changed. When I was seven, I wanted to be a pastry chef and decorate extravagant cakes for extravagant people. When I was ten, I wanted to be a lawyer. When I was eleven, I wanted to be a psychologist so that I could understand the human mind and try to help people overcome their own vices. When I was twelve, the goal was to be an NFL broadcaster, and then I wanted to be a player agent, then a sports marketing director. Finally, I realized at about 16 years old that there was a trend to work in the sports-business world, but it was very hard for me to choose a single path to follow with all of the options.

Throughout high school, I convinced myself that I was not a great student or learner. I was ranked 141 out 435 students which meant that I was only in the top 32% of my class; not the worst, but definitely not the best. Because of my relatively low ranking, I was offered PSA at A&M, which is essentially a contingent admission based on whether or not I could last a year at a satellite campus. I did not accept this offer, and ended up deciding to move to Washington to fulfill my dream of living close to my family. I enrolled in Everett Community College and it changed my life. At first it was very difficult for me to accept that I would not be attending a four-year university because it was never my plan to start off at a two-year. It was here that I realized that I had the capability of doing much better than I did in high school. The reality of the situation is that I did not try hard enough and it impacted my life in a very present negative way. It made me feel lost in terms of where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing with my life, and it lowered my confidence significantly because I told myself that I wasn't smart enough to compete with the 140 kids that were ranked above me.

For as long as I can remember, I always had a sizable interest in the medical world, but I never thought I had the capability of becoming a doctor, because science did not come naturally to me. I did not think it was impossible to become a doctor, but I did think it was highly improbable. That is, until I got to college. My experience at EvCC has been the best and most influential academic experience that I have ever had. Here, I have thrived in my classes and have been an active part of the school's community. My professors have motivated me to push myself to study harder and to make the grades that I know I am capable of. The class that gave me a crystal clear outlook of my ten-year plan was Physics. Physics was the hardest class I took in high school and I barely passed it. I did not think it was possible for me to really learn and understand the material of the course, but when I took it in college, it was completely different. I told myself going into the start of the quarter that I was going to push myself to study and understand the material instead of just passing the class. I ended the course with an A- and felt more motivated than ever.

At the University of Texas, I want to be listed as a Kinesiology major in the College of Education. I will do the required coursework and apply for the undergraduate Athletic training program. Once I complete my bachelor's degree and graduate from the program, I plan on attending medical school, preferably Dell Medical School, and enlist in the army as a doctor. I think the experience that I will gain as a military doctor will be beneficial to my ultimate career goal, which is to become a sports medicine doctor since many of the injuries that military doctors assess are related to physical activity. Eventually, I would love to work as a sports medicine doctor for a professional sports team. No matter if I reach my end goal or not, this path will give me a variety of options that will all satisfy my career goal to work in a fulfilling environment, helping treat injuries.
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