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Posts by Hatif
Name: Hatif Saputra
Joined: Mar 7, 2017
Last Post: Jul 4, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 7
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Jul 4, 2017
Scholarship / Constant Progress on Maturing and Returning the Favor - Essay for Scholarship Application [4]

Hi! @numissh
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I really appreciate your comments.

Actually, for your #1 comment, I wanted to say that goes along the line of "variable", but I do understand your concern. Will try to look for another word to best represent my feeling about this sentence :)

Not at all, @numissh. It's a great help for my writing. Thank you very much :D
Jul 1, 2017
Scholarship / Constant Progress on Maturing and Returning the Favor - Essay for Scholarship Application [4]

Hi all! This is an essay for my scholarship application. The topic of the essay is: "Greatest Success in Life", and need to be in max 700 words. Any comments, corrections, and inputs, it will be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance for your help. :)


constant work in progress

The conception of success is based on each of own personal measurement, perception, and personal value. My conception of success had evolved as I matured and grew older, but the defining moment happened a year after my father passed away. In 2007, our family was in the process on adjusting to new circumstances and difficulties that were present following the bereavement. During the grief, I had the opportunity to represent DKI Jakarta for a national competition among 18 other finalists from all over Indonesia; an emotional moment of proud for my mother, for she was the one struggling the most to ensure our well-being. I see that experience as a purpose to look forward and re-live later in life ever since, and started to learn that success in life is as simple as returning the favor by making her proud of what I have become. I believe, success is a moment of satisfaction and gratitude for me and my mother, and a series of process of continual growth to be a better person of myself. Although my conception of success is fluid and continuous, there are two events that stood out and illustrated my greatest success in life.

To begin with, the years I attended Universitas Padjadjaran in Bandung, West Java, were the first phase of success and maturing for me. I was dependent as a child, living in Bandung and being away from home is the first thing I deemed a milestone. From my experiences in college, I learnt the value of team work, perseverance, and time management by playing in the Marching Band, and succeeded to perform with my team in a national competition. In the same year, I also participated in two international forums for youth, and learnt to embrace different cultures and backgrounds while benefiting from the courses and international exposure.

In 2013 to 2014, I learnt about social volunteer, leadership and how to adapt to new environment from being a vice village coordinator of student study service (KKN) in a remote village. In one month, we lived with the local people and conducted several programs in education, sharing experiences and motivating session to the local youth, and capacity building for local business. I challenged myself to take two leadership roles in two different organizations, which was rewarding to gain experiences in managing people. By the time I graduated from university, a word of appreciation from my mother felt priceless, and I felt fulfilled; I have proven that I could be involved in many activities, met many inspiring people, and matured as a person amidst maintaining a good grade.

Another phase of success for me was my working experience. As a fresh graduate who used to work in a peer of youths in organization, I was struggling during my first month to work in a team with age differences. I overcame my obstacle by adjusting to the new system of bureaucracy, and encouraged myself to be opinionated and inquisitive. By the end of the first month, I found the pace and became very committed in doing my job. I felt content in working on my field of interest, as well as being able to implement my study. Not long after eight months of work, my commitment and hard work was appreciated by the Director General; based on my performances, I was selected among many other employees as one of the Delegate of Indonesia to participate in UN Climate Change Conference in Morocco. Being selected as the delegate was definitely a prize, but the process on reaching to the stage as a fresh graduate and entry-level employee was another milestone for me.

To conclude, as I mentioned in the first paragraph, my greatest success in life is a constant work in progress. All the courses in my life; the moments of fulfillment and hardships, have contributed to who I am now. As long as I have the purpose to make my mother proud of what I have become and returning the favor and sacrifices of raising me, all these experiences I deemed success would be my stepping stone to reach further in life.
Mar 12, 2017
Scholarship / Creativity in Using Communication Platforms -- Application for AAS [5]

Hi @Holt, thanks for your insights. After incorporating your comments, here is my revised version. As you can see, I couldn't come up with 2000 char limit, could you please help me erasing ineffective sentences or give me any tips to shorten my essay? Thank you so much for your help.
Mar 12, 2017
Scholarship / NZAS scholarship : Why did you decide to apply to study in New Zealand or other Pacific location? [5]

Hi, @rochamukti. Here are some of my insights:

1. I think you could elaborate more on how you will achieve your ultimate objectives for your country--as stated in "I will increase my capacity in developing the technology..." and "It will support the Indonesian Government`s plans to increase ..."--with more specific plans. You could add some experiences and in what capacity you are currently doing with your job.

2. "Friendly relations between Indonesia and New Zealand that have been continuous ..." This is not related with your previous stated objectives. I think you could omit this sentence so you can elaborate more portion on more important points.

Hope it helps!
Mar 12, 2017
Scholarship / Creativity in Using Communication Platforms -- Application for AAS [5]

Hi Guys. This is my essay for AAS Master Degree Program. Any inputs or insights on my essay so that it would be more concise (2000 characters) and effective would be very much appreciated. The specific question is: How have you contributed to solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform? (Be specific and include: what aspect/s of your leadership knowledge, skills and practice you consider to be well established and effective; which people or organisations you worked with to solve the problem; and what creative methods were used.)

my effectiveness in practice

In my role as Head of Information and Communication Department of International Relations Students Association (HIMA HI) in 2013-2014, I was responsible for a team of seven in managing the flow of information from HIMA HI. Our tasks were very crucial in supporting the success of any events since we have to engage the mass to attend programs/events conducted by HIMA HI for a one year event. Our main approach was to use social media platforms-Twitter, Facebook, and Website-to promote and inform the events. Having previously enrolled in the Dept. of Information and Communication for two years prior as the head of department, I have observed that the current system of HIMA HI in promoting events was ineffective and passive since the attendance rate were very small despite our department had executed our main duty perfectly-with arranged deadlines and comprehensive information provided. As my capacity to lead the current team in 2013, it was my responsibility to change this ineffective approach.

During my lead, I introduced new platforms to my department: a weekly information note and an information board. A rather traditional form of communication platform compared to the social media that I believed will be much more attractive in engaging participants to attend HIMA HI events. My plan was to give 'sneak-peek' with the weekly information note and information board of the upcoming events and information provided in social media, a supporting platform to the main platform. I intrigued the mass to anticipate and expect main information to be provided in social media with unique questions, jokes, or striking facts related to the upcoming events. With this approach, our performances were quantified-unlike promoting information in social media, we could determine how many notes were delivered-and we also could monitor the target of audiences more effectively; which one need to be engaged more for a particular theme of the event.

Our first event using these new platforms was successful. Not only the participants attending HIMA HI event was significantly increased by more than 50%, the 'sneak-peek' approach also resulted with more interaction on our social media platforms. We gained many retweets, likes, and shares on Twitter and Facebook of our event by the people answering our unique questions and striking facts. In December 2014, our success in supporting the events of HIMA HI was greatly appreciated as the Information and Communication Department under my lead was announced 'The Best Department of The Year'.