Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Children are increasingly spending less time to their parents.

Gnad 2 / 4  
Jul 1, 2017   #1

Technology affects relation between members of family

Nowadays, many problems are caused by that children tend to spend less time with their parents.Firstly, they have trouble with showing opinion and controlling behavior. With children, mom and dad are the most familiar people, so they will be really lonely and upset if their parents don't have enough time to them. It is reason why they try to attract attention from other with undesirable behaviors.Secondly, it is much more dangerous if children are lured to commit crimes. Because they can not distinguish between wrong and right, so they don't know the consequences of their actions. In fact, many children in the world are used as tools for cheating and stoling. In sumary, children need to be listened and cared from parents. Please! don't leave they alone.
Hatif 2 / 5 1  
Jul 1, 2017   #2
Hi @Gnad!

Before going any further, what is the objective of your essay? Is it for practice, or for a task? Please give us the details of instructions. Thank you @Gnad! :)
OP Gnad 2 / 4  
Jul 1, 2017   #3
Hi @Hatif
it is for practice, write a paragraph about 150 words on this topic
Thanks for your help
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,707 3785  
Jul 4, 2017   #4
Nguyen, there is a disconnection between your paragraph title and the actual discussion that you present. In your title, you indicate that technology is causing children to spend less time with their parents. However, in your discussion, you do not present any evidence of technology that prevents children from seeking their parents company. If this were an actual test, you would have been given a failing grade by your teacher because you did not manage to properly discuss the topic title in your paragraph. A representation of how technology consumes the time of the children and how their gadget related activities removes them from the real world in terms of interacting with their parents should have been presented in the paragraph. Thus justifying and properly discussing the title that you chose for the paper. This is not a well written paper because you did not understand what the topic title wanted you to discuss. You just wrote what you think the topic was about. There is a clear lack of English comprehension skills in this paragraph exercise.

Home / Writing Feedback / Children are increasingly spending less time to their parents.