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Posts by adib_yz
Name: Adib
Joined: Mar 15, 2017
Last Post: Apr 19, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Islamic Republic of Iran

Displayed posts: 3
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adib_yz   
Apr 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 exclusion of women in certain jobs [2]

@ayat_555
I think you need to change your introduction paragraph. The first sentence should be the topic of your essay which is basically paraphrasing the topic and the second sentence could be a general answer that would explain your ideas about the topic. I believe you need to replace the two sentences that start with "This essay" and combine them in a single one.

In the conclusion paragraph, I think you should use "against" instead of between after "discrimination". I can see examples of misusing adjectives throughout your essay that you need to replace them with appropriate ones.
adib_yz   
Apr 9, 2017
Writing Feedback / The best way to solve the problem of traffic is to force people to pay toll. Agree or Disagree? [3]

The best way to solve the problem of traffic is to force people to pay tolls when driving in busy roads.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement


toll charge to reduce traffic



Traffic congestion has become a major problem in many megacities throughout the world. While some people argue that charging drivers who drive in busy areas is the best solution, I believe there are more practical approaches to mitigate traffic in heavily used roads.

There are various reasons that indicate why setting up a tollbooth on busy highways is not a proper method for dealing with traffic. Firstly, construction of toll stands on highways further aggravates the traffic since cars have to stop and pay money which causes traffic and road blockage on its own. Secondly, in numerous studies, it has been proven that cars produce more exhaust fumes when they stop and start moving again. This is the exact case when they reach tollbooths and therefore, they are polluting the air even further. Finally, infrastructure and buildings that are needed for charging drivers on roads, demands huge sums of public budget that could be spent on more urgent issues like maintaining and standardization of highways.

In many developed countries, governments are using traffic prevention policies that are far more functional than charging money. As with any other social issue, education plays a significant role in discouraging people from using private cars, and thus lowering traffic and its related issues. Teaching school children about benefits of public transport, producing television programs that informs society regarding consequences of traffic congestion are examples of policies that governments could follow to reduce traffic. Apart from education, city officials should constantly work on providing state of the art and standard transport systems like monorails and high-speed underground trains, particularly in dense city streets. Therefore, not only public official should educate people, they should also put their focus on implementing modern and more advanced public transport facilities.

In conclusion, I believe pressuring individuals to pay money for traveling on busy roads is not a practicable solution for traffic congestion and the focus of public officials should be on more creative and preventive approaches.
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