Posts by vinusi

vinusi

May 4, 2017

Writing Feedback / Difficulties of living in a city. How to make urban life better? [2]

I think you should make clear what is the thesis statement of your essay in the introduction, you can state what migration you mean (urbanization?), what is the difficulties of living in the city and the government policy. If you choose urbanization, you should consistent.

In the second paragraph, the terrorist attack is too far. You could explain what is the difficulties of living in the city, not the impact of migration to the city. For example, The first difficult for migrating people is difficult to find a job especially if they just have less experience ... Second, the living cost is high...(explain why) Third, reason 3...

In the third paragraph, you should explain the government policy that makes the urban life better for everyone. It is better if the policy solves the difficulties you mention. In addition, you should make it clear who is the "everyone".

In conclusion, please restate your opinion and highlight the reason.

I hope it can help you.

vinusi

May 4, 2017

Writing Feedback / Raising a company productivity through promotions - basing on a performance or on the seniority? [3]

Promotions based on seniority or performance

In some organizations, promotions are based on seniority, while in other organizations, promotions are based on performance. Discuss the advantages of each position. Then indicate which position you think is best and why.

In some organizations, promotions are based on seniority and are based on performance. Each of this position has advantages.
The advantages of promotions that based on seniority are the member of organization do not have to show high performance to their employer and there will be no competition to get a promotion. First, the more senior they are, the higher opportunity they get the promotion. The senior only wait for the promotion and they do not have to work hard or show high performance. They even do not think about competition with the junior who have better performance.

On the other hand, promotions based on performance have several advantages. First, there is high organization productivity. This will make the members compete against each other to get the promotion. They will show high performance to the employer. This action motivates the member to be more productive. Therefore, it will give positive effect to the organization productivity. What people do is as good as they get. Those members with better performance are worthy. As a result, they may think that it is fair. Hence, the condition of the organization will be conducive, this is the second advantage.

I think promotions based on performance is the best decision. Positive competition between members, high performance, and productivity of the members and conducive condition inside the organization will bring the organization bright future. The more productive the organization, the higher goal they can achieve.