bachyangha
Nov 8, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task2: Scientist believe that by studying behaviour of 3 years old children, we can predict.. [2]
Topic: Scientists believe that by studying behaviour of 3 years old children, we can predict if that child can become criminal in the future. To what extent is crime a product of human nature? Is it possible to stop children from growing to be a criminal?
There has been some claims made by scientists that whether a child might commit the crime in the future or not can be predicted through analysing his behaviour. I totally disagree with this idea and I believe that measures can be taken to avoid children growing to be offenders.
On the one hand, since human nature changes through the time along with the development of people awareness, wrongdoings cannot be attributed to one's personality. For example, a mischevous child could show unacceptable behaviour in his childhood but with guidance and education from family and school, he can become a paragon of virtue and a low-abiding citizen. Consequently, it is impossible for scientists to make accurate assumption. What is more, living conditions and environmental factors play a major role in deciding one's characters and how children may grow up. There is a correlation between crime and poverty. A child from poor family with constant exposure to violence is likely to conduct illegal acts.
On the other hand, it is feasible to stop this problem. This can firstly be done by encouraging parents to spend more time with their offsprings, pay more attention to take care of their children properly. For example, parents can teach their children to distinguish between benevolence and malevolence. Secondly, shools should make crime education mandatory. Crime prevention should be added to regular lessons. Therefore, children will be aware of the bad consquences of misdoings and avoid them at all cost. Another solution is posing stricter punishments. As a result, children would abstain from any intention of illegal acts when being conscious of severe punishments.
To conclude, I believe that crime is not by nature so scientists cannot jump to any conclusion when studying children's behaviour and actions can be taken to prevent children from growing into a criminal.
Please correct my essay
Thank you so much
some child can become criminal in the future
Topic: Scientists believe that by studying behaviour of 3 years old children, we can predict if that child can become criminal in the future. To what extent is crime a product of human nature? Is it possible to stop children from growing to be a criminal?
There has been some claims made by scientists that whether a child might commit the crime in the future or not can be predicted through analysing his behaviour. I totally disagree with this idea and I believe that measures can be taken to avoid children growing to be offenders.
On the one hand, since human nature changes through the time along with the development of people awareness, wrongdoings cannot be attributed to one's personality. For example, a mischevous child could show unacceptable behaviour in his childhood but with guidance and education from family and school, he can become a paragon of virtue and a low-abiding citizen. Consequently, it is impossible for scientists to make accurate assumption. What is more, living conditions and environmental factors play a major role in deciding one's characters and how children may grow up. There is a correlation between crime and poverty. A child from poor family with constant exposure to violence is likely to conduct illegal acts.
On the other hand, it is feasible to stop this problem. This can firstly be done by encouraging parents to spend more time with their offsprings, pay more attention to take care of their children properly. For example, parents can teach their children to distinguish between benevolence and malevolence. Secondly, shools should make crime education mandatory. Crime prevention should be added to regular lessons. Therefore, children will be aware of the bad consquences of misdoings and avoid them at all cost. Another solution is posing stricter punishments. As a result, children would abstain from any intention of illegal acts when being conscious of severe punishments.
To conclude, I believe that crime is not by nature so scientists cannot jump to any conclusion when studying children's behaviour and actions can be taken to prevent children from growing into a criminal.
Please correct my essay
Thank you so much
