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Posts by thamnt
Name: Tham
Joined: Jul 21, 2017
Last Post: Jul 24, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
Likes: 2
From: Viet Nam

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thamnt   
Jul 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / I wrote this essay about travelling, I have never done before [7]

Hi elizabethbehappy, i am a new member who is trying to improve my writing skill. i would like to discuss something about your essay and hope this will also help me write correctly for the next time.

When we write a topic, we need to have at least 3 paragraphs: Introduction, body and conclusion. If in the part of the introduction, you wrote travelling help people: relax and abstract; learn the culture, so in the body, you must explain about your opinions. (How travel makes people relax, learn the culture, give more example,...)

"there are people who are always unhappy with the way the life is" We should avoid the word "always" to assert an absolute view, you can instead by "in a way".

"But fortunately, those people are rather few." this sentence should not be given.

Firstly, travel helps us to ......Secondly, ..... You should put them in one paragraph because they both discuss the advantage of travel.
You can replace "busy life" by "hectic life", it is better.

Hope someone will help correct your essay.
thamnt   
Jul 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2- nature or nuture influence human development [3]

Hello everyone, could you please help me correct my writing task 2 on the following topic. Thank you.
Topic:
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on your personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

impact of the environment we were born



Answer:
The idea of nature-versus-nurture has long been debated, with no conclusive conclusion. Some studies have suggested that no nexus exists between genes and behaviour patterns while other research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on your personality and development than their life. This essay is to discuss these two schools of thoughts, with some facts being closely examined.

There is no denying the fact that genetics plays a large role in the determining a person's character. Nativists take the position that all or most behaviours and characteristics are results of inheritance. Genetic traits handed down from parents influence the individual difference that makes each person unique. For example, researchers found that identical twins were twice as likely as non-identical twins to share the same personality traits, suggesting that their DNA was having the greatest impact.

By contrast, some experts now argue that our genetic inheritance has virtually nothing to do with our personalities. They believe that a child's behaviour signals the accumulative effect of the environment where they grow up. Studies show that many young criminals come from problem families who have a history of violence and crime. Without good job prospects, they end up finding solace in gangs. Another example to show parent's effect on their child's behaviour that children with fine upbringing normally show their courtesy and professional etiquettes in coping with real-life problems, similarly, offspring of nurturing mother tended to be less anxious than those of more lackadaisical mother.

To sum up, people are made by both learned and born traits. There is no need to reach a conclusion that either environment or nature plays a decisive part in one's character and behaviour development. Although the effect of genetic heredity is overt, one can not afford to ignore that of environment where a child is nurtured.

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