memorymatrix
Sep 8, 2017
Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place [4]
The essay is coherent and easily understandable. However, there are a few grammatical mistakes and unnecessary pauses. Please go through the essay again, and find them. Please take care of singular/plurals and articles.
In the first paragraph, it should be "has changed/transformed our lives dramatically'.
Second Paragraph: 1. Rather than exploded, it would be better to use words like accelerated, spearheaded etc, and it is convenient to use technological revolution. 2. People can be instantly connected around the world via various modes of communications.
Third Paragraph: 1.Machines are programmed and completely automated, which makes...... 2. perform all types of tasks, which require 3. technological advances have benefited
The essay is coherent and easily understandable. However, there are a few grammatical mistakes and unnecessary pauses. Please go through the essay again, and find them. Please take care of singular/plurals and articles.
In the first paragraph, it should be "has changed/transformed our lives dramatically'.
Second Paragraph: 1. Rather than exploded, it would be better to use words like accelerated, spearheaded etc, and it is convenient to use technological revolution. 2. People can be instantly connected around the world via various modes of communications.
Third Paragraph: 1.Machines are programmed and completely automated, which makes...... 2. perform all types of tasks, which require 3. technological advances have benefited