Posts by Hannielee

Hannielee

Oct 19, 2017

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Is local history more important than world history? Opinion essay. [4]

Hi Scully,
Your essay is great. Below are my comments:

1. which they still live => I think this is better to be "which they are currently living".
2. "they are inspired to become a good citizen later" => I think this is not 100% true. So, It's better to write "They may be inspired to try becoming a good citizen in the future".

Hope it help:)

Hannielee

Oct 19, 2017

Writing Feedback / Children raised in the countryside have better than those from urban areas? [3]

Hi Pier,
1. I think it is better to write "... better educational facilities and effectively learn modern communication skills " (adv+ noun)

2. ... without good schools ... Most good schools ... many good universities ... a good education => I think you repeat "good" too many times. It's better to replace by some other words such as appropriate, high quality, excellent, etc.

Moreover, "children to grow up in the countryside" can be replaced by "Children spend their childhood in the countryside" to avoid repeating words.
Countryside may sometimes be replaced by "rural"

3. "As many companies may need an employee who can strongly communicate with their customers" (use "their" not "it" because you use many companies at the beginning. And "communicate" is more advanced than "talk", moreover, you can avoid repeating "talk" because you have already used above lines.

Goodluck ! :)

Hannielee

Oct 19, 2017

Writing Feedback / It is now possible for scientist and tourist to travel remote natural environment eg. the south pole [3]

Hi Ummu,
1. Many tripper even scientist ... => this should be plural. And It's better to use "these" than "those" in our essay. Morover, "Even" should be used in the situation of un-common, weird thing. My suggestion: "Many trippers included both tourist and scientist can be easy to visit these regions"

2. Travelling now have become ... => wrong verb and unclear structure. => "Travelling becomes a great lifestyle of some people, nowadays".

3. In addition, do travelling in ... => "Additionally, Visitors may cause many heavy impacts to the environment in these suburb areas" => try to not confirm 100% in the essay, you better to use "may", "can", "be able to"... to mention your ideas/ predictions/ opinions. Only write direct verb/ confirmation for 100% true things. :)

3. I think there are a lot of grammar errors such as plural, singular, and words using. Please carefully check. Goodluck :)

Hannielee

Oct 19, 2017

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Many countries increase the amount of household garbage going to landfill every year. [2]

Many countries increase the amount of household garbage going to landfill every year. What are the causes? What can be done to reduce it?
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Reducing garbage of household

In many countries, environmental pollution is a serious problem. It mostly comes from daily activities of citizens. Household garbage is one of the most crucial reasons creating issues to the environment. Indeed, families' rubbish rapidly increases. There are many causes of this problem. Consequently, reducing the amount of garbage to landfill every year is necessary to protect human's life and the environment.

Every year, there is the amazing development of the populations in many developing countries. Therefore, consumptions become higher. This leads to the rising of rubbish dumps. Additionally, the modern society creates a lot of equipment to make our life easier and more convenient. Bottles, papers, rubbers, and plastics are some materials used to produce a lot of supportive stuff. Without an appropriate management or recycling methods, these used objects are normally thrown out to our surroundings and take part in another process of damaging our environment. As a consequence, it is necessary to limit the amount of household garbage as low as possible.

Because of its importance and urgency, Governments should pay a high attention to reduce the amount of household garbage to their dumps. Popular education may be the first recommendation. Public environment protected training and recycling guidelines are priority (should be prior) activities for citizens to have knowledge of solving their own rubbish. Moreover, many countries may issue many useful rules, such as increasing taxes for many materials, supplying more bins in public areas, online bills, and strict punishments. Nevertheless, every individual and each family are requested to spend their time for recycling garbage and using the recycling stuff.

It is undeniable that our environment needs to be protected. Reducing garbage of household is one of the musts (a must). So, we could live in a fresh air and enjoy our lives.

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