Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by mikowoo
Joined: Sep 6, 2009
Last Post: Oct 23, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  

Displayed posts: 11
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
mikowoo   
Sep 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "RABBIT SISTER"--MY PERSONAL STATEMENT [10]

Why..
It seems many Chinese use this forum..
Well. Think carefully before you write~ And try to make some high points..
Good luck~
mikowoo   
Sep 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "RABBIT SISTER"--MY PERSONAL STATEMENT [10]

Zealzou,

Well.. it seems we can type pinyin and chat here, haha~
Thnx& BAXIA~( and actually this slang comes from Korea~~:))

Sean,

Thanks for your advice. I will surly consider that seriously.
mikowoo   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / "RABBIT SISTER"--MY PERSONAL STATEMENT [10]

Well, I'm not a native speaker:)
I do think my ps must include plenty of mistakes, because sometimes I really thought in my first language and tried to translate that into English.. (Haha)

So thank you so much to help me correct the mistakes! I guess there should be more, and I will try to check them. Thank you!!:)
mikowoo   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / "RABBIT SISTER"--MY PERSONAL STATEMENT [10]

I'm writing a personal statement. The topic is not limited, so I am somewhat lost in writing it. I'm not sure whether this PS helps to show my personality. And especially paragraph 5, I wonder if it works logically. I need your help urgently!!! Thanks a lot! What's more, is my title "RABBIT SISTER" proper?

THE ESSAY GOES AS FOLLOWS:

RABBIT SISTER

The classroom was filled with chaos. My thirty mentally handicapped students, some rushing in back of the classroom, a few grappling and sharply screaming in their seats, and the others dazing off just under my eyes, were all neglecting my miserable efforts to attract their attention. My patience was rapidly approaching its limit.

I did not want to wait for their silence any more; I used my whole force to rap the teacher's desk and cried out, "Listen to me!" Everyone was stunned at once, turned around and stared at me with widened eyes as if they had just noticed me. One or two kids grumbled with dirty words. My face was immediately burned, and my tears quickly blurred my eyes. I tried to calm down, and made a condolatory smile, attempting to ease the tension in the air. However, the children were out of control once again, not caring a fig about my feelings. Something stung my heart; I had never been neglected like this; I had even fondly expected them to behave obediently, fascinated by my pictures I prepared elaborately, but now they were treating me like I was a meaningless clown.

How could I bear that? Looking at the kids through my misty eyes, I wondered suddenly, that why I eagerly volunteered to waste time to teach these boorish kids despite the increasing demands of my high school? Why should I spend an hour every midday, starving myself, just to travel to this shabby special education school to meet the children who had no idea what I was doing?

I joined in the volunteer organization of my school once it was set up, thinking that I was going to do something for those in need right away. It should be a meaningful yet easy job for me, I thought, and I had never anticipated any challenge in it. A volunteer, in my mind, was supposed to wear a special orange uniform and to smile widely at the old and the small, singing together with everybody cheerfully. And when I really stood in the children's classroom, where my job was to take place, I got totally scared and I flinched. To both the kids and me, we were too strange to start a conversation, and the poor me couldn't even get a chance to be arresting to them.

For several days, I had been thinking about that noon all the time. I found myself partly frustrated and wounded, yet I still kept a hope to handle the situation well. I had been overcoming numerous challenges every year in my life: I obtained the level ten certificate of piano after six years' exhausting practice; I accomplished my goal to get straight A's on my school reports by working persistently; I won the honor of outstanding student of my junior and senior middle school every semester by competing with my schoolmates in every aspect. I had been through all the difficulties, always clinging to the words "grasp the hope". Thus, I never lost confidence and perseverance, which supported me all the time. How could the word "give up" possibly get into my mind? I pondered. Then I decided to change my topic of the next lesson, hoping the kids would be interested.

In the next class I jumped into the classroom, dressed in my handmade paper costume-a white rabbit clothes. I crow hopped awkwardly, limited by the paper clothes, and finally reached the platform. My students were all surprised again, however also amused. I said in an imagined rabbit-like tone, "Hey everybody, let's play games today!" All the kids cheered, rushed to me, and excitedly touched my funny costume. I was somewhat encouraged greatly: at least they focused on me. I told them that I wanted to play the word chain game, and they gladly obeyed me at once. To my surprise, mental retardation did not restrict their minds: they acted wonderfully with a large vocabulary. When I was standing amidst those kids, hearing them speak loudly and urgently, I was so proud of them, all my lovely students. Yes, I was a clown this time in a foolish rabbit costume, but I felt truly happy, and so did the kids. Their pink faces looked like blooming flowers, shining towards me, and their joyful laughter was so sweet that I could recall them even several months has past now.

At that time I figured it out, the answers to the questions once I asked myself. I volunteered to do the job to bring happiness to these fancy free children, but not simply to take charge of them for two hours a day and step onto the platform with my distant sympathy. In the rest time of my work, I played with the kids every day. We watched cartoons together, drawing colorful pictures with new pens, and we talked about our dreams like best friends. And they even invited me to play table tennis. We were about the same level at playing that, but it was really fun for all of us. They intimately called me Rabbit Sister, well, and I had to say that I loved this name given by these great kids.

In my last class, my students spontaneously sang me a pop song, The Invisible Wings. I was incurably lost in their song. With thirty different pitches, these kids were singing for their beautiful dreams we once talked about together, and at that moment they seemed to have the invisible wings glinting behind. That was my tears.

I should say that I love the kids, not as a sympathetic volunteer from a decent high school, but rather as their Rabbit Sister, who truly treasured the wonderful happiness gained in time spent with them. To me, the name Rabbit Sister was an honor as well as all those I achieved in school. And this important experience also rescued me from that self-centered, cold person I once had been.
mikowoo   
Sep 20, 2009
Graduate / MA in architecture motivation to a programme [2]

"Working in a team, I showed up leader skills and organized our work"
I'm also somewhat confused by the tense you used in the 3rd para. It's mingled with 2 or 3 tenses. Would you check it again?
mikowoo   
Sep 15, 2009
Letters / Impressed by her enthusiastic manner; Recommendation written by teacher [7]

Thanks a lot..
The Students' Company is a company run by our schoolmates, and we sell something among students such as second-hand books and notes.. Ok, maybe I should call it a program.. but the company is licensed.

Anyway.. Thank you so much! :)
mikowoo   
Sep 14, 2009
Letters / Impressed by her enthusiastic manner; Recommendation written by teacher [7]

I'm a student applying for colleges in USA, and my English Teacher wrote a recommendation for me. She wrote it in another language, however, since English is our second language, so I had to translate it into English . My teacher was not sure whether it was properly translated, and she wanted me to find help from others. I hope someone can help me with the gramma& logical problems in it!! Thnx a lot!! BTW, I cannot change the original meaning of my teacher, right? So just grammar mistakes!

PART OF THE RECOMMENDATION GOES AS FOLLOWS:


I have also discovered her to be passionate and perseverant in extracurricular activities. Impressed by her enthusiastic manner, I chose her as the hostess of the First English Speaking Contest of our school, and Miss XX proved to be the best for this work. Her fluent speaking and witty manner, gained by constant practice and improvements, enabled her to perform well as the hostess. And I appreciate it very much that though it was the first time she tried to take such a job, she was able to manage it perfectly. In the past high school years, she has enthusiastically taken part in many other students activities, such as the School English Drama Festival, the Student's Company Activity, etc, which has also seen her versatility by serving quite a few positions.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳