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Posts by linhluong158
Name: luong thuy linh
Joined: Oct 27, 2017
Last Post: Nov 23, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: vietnam
School: high school for gifted students in Cao Bang

Displayed posts: 4
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linhluong158   
Nov 22, 2017
Writing Feedback / Single-gender profession brings more advantages owing to numerous differences in sexual physiques [3]

OCCUPATIONAL SEGRETATION



Gender equality at work has attracted several controversies throughout the world. Some people argue that single-gender profession brings more advantages owing to numerous difference in sexual physiques. It appears clear to me that this practise should not be put into effect because of several reasons below.

First and foremost, occupational segretation has no leg to stand on in today's highly civilized world. With technological development, unlimited access to the knowledge needed for a job enables everyone, regardless of their gender, to the equal chance to get well-informed as well as widen their career path. In addition, work suitability can not be determined by genders. Personal knowledge and commitment should be prioritized when considering a candidate for a vacancy. The less passionate one is about the work, the less effective his work will be.

Another reason for opposing this practise is that it is likely to harm the economy. Obviously, restricting a gender from getting a particular job is unfair and can be a loss of talent. For example, beauticians are usually defined as a job exclusively for women. But recently, men made their debut in this on-the-rise field, with a large number of household names such as Jeffrey Star and Manuel. This is a concrete evidence that there should be no bounderies in the job market. Besides, civil war can also occur as people will stand up for their right. In response to inequality in workplace in America a few years ago, for instance, a number of talented workers quit their jobs, leading to procrastination and a billion-dollar loss for the country's economy.

In conclusion, every single person has the equal right to choose and embark on their career they love. If their job opportunity is restricted just because of their gene, it will raise severe objection among society and negative impacts on the economy are unavoidable.

P/S: I'm new to this forum so I don't know how to reply to your comments under my thread. And I'm still trying to figure it out haha. But anyway, thank all of you for your helpful advices. They help me a lot!!!
linhluong158   
Nov 18, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - PIE CHART - AGRICULTURAL PRODUCTION [4]

hi, I think you can write the introduction in this way "the two given bar charts illustrate the agricultural production breakdown in two areas in a certain country, categorized into four main products..."

You should add more comparisons to your answer as your current one, as I see, merely describes the given figures. Another advice is that I think instead of writing "forty" or "forty five", you can write "slightly less than a half". Instead of "tweenty five", you can say "a quarter".

That's all I want to share. Good luck!
linhluong158   
Oct 27, 2017
Writing Feedback / Boarding school is an excellent paradigm for children to comprehensively develop [5]

Advocating the school system



topic: Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent opinion for children, while others disagree for a number of reasons. consider both sides and reach a conclusion

answer:
Boarding schools have been popular among many countries since the past. there have existed endless comments on whether this kind of school is the ideal choice for students. this essay will debate both sides of this topic and reach a concluding view.

Advocates of this school system would argue that this is an excellent paradigm for children to comprehensively develop. Obviously, living with peers and without parents can train kids into self-reliant, independent, confident and sociable civilians who can manage things by themselves in most situations in life as well as have a wide net of friends and better communication skill. In addition, this can also benefit busy parents having a little amount of time for their families. Saving time driving kids from home to school and back, preparing quality meals and helping kids out with loads of homework can exemplify this advantage.

In contrast, there are reasons to disapprove of this syllabus. Away from family has never been easy, even with adults, let alone the premature. Without parental guidance and surveillance, children can suffer from insufficient nutriented dietary plan, as well as some can be spoiled by heinous people provoking them to take drugs, alcohol and neglect their study. Combined with peer pressure and stress gained from studying, students may find it desparate and hold a pessimistic view about life.

In conclusion, although boarding school forms a brilliant environment for children's development and bring several benefits to busy parents, it appears that this school system's drawbacks outweigh its advantages as students may be disoriented during their school years.
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