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Posts by macbz
Name: Kay
Joined: Nov 13, 2017
Last Post: Nov 30, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 5
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macbz   
Nov 30, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS WT2, Fast-food companies should not be allowed to give away free toys with their food [3]

Hello, I'm aiming band 7 in writing. Please help to review, any suggestion will be helpful. Appreciate your help!
261 words.

Fast-food companies should not be allowed to give away free toys with their food.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


fast foods Lure Kids with Toys



This is a common business model that some junk food restaurant owners promote their products with free toys in recent years. Some people argue that this strategy should be banned. In my opinion, I firmly agree with this statement because of following reasons.

One reason is this policy can reduce obesity problems in society, especially for young generations. There are several articles point out that children are easy to gain more weight and develop an illness which should be happened in elder aging, compared to the past twenty years. This is a consequence of the artificial ingredients they obtained. Ending this marketing strategy can diminish the young people's craving for possessing hamburgers and toys at the same time, thus lower their opportunity to absorb the foods which contain less nutritious but high calories.

Another reason is that prohibiting giving toys without charging with unhealthy meals can cut down the unnecessary waste for the environment. Since fast-food restaurant provides services at a fast pace, they have been intriguing some consumers to purchase junk food for saving time. For instance, some office workers who head to the KFC in the noon for efficiency. Playing is not their main purpose to walk into the store. It is a high possibility they tend to abandon the toy in the trash once they receive it. The kindness offers become meaningful and harmful to the environment.

In conclusion, it seems to me that banning the promotion of selling convenience food with free toys can benefit the society and the environment by reducing the fatness issue and garbage.
macbz   
Nov 30, 2017
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [414]

Nice to meet you guys! I'm from Taiwan. Preparing the IELTS, good to know so many people are learning English.
I'll try my best to give the suggestions, even my English still need to improve as well. :)
macbz   
Nov 30, 2017
Scholarship / What motivates you and write about a topic that reflects your values [4]

@winday209
there are some grammatical mistakes:
1. As a child,
2. motivated to pursuing -> pursue
3. relevance, depth, challenge, and
4. the economy, society, and

Suggest to download the "Grammarly" application to check grammatical mistakes, it's free.
macbz   
Nov 13, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing part2, congestion and traffic jams are a common and major problem in most cities. [7]

traffic jam and congestion problem



Nowadays congestion and traffic jams are a common and major problem in most cities. Some people believe it is a good idea to construct wider roads to resolve this issue. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be the solution, in your opinion?'

In the urban area, communities are suffering traffic congestion. There are some voices to argue the government should widen roads to solve this problem. In my opinion, I disagree with this solution. I honestly believe there is another efficient method to reduce the density of cars.

There are three key reasons why increasing road lanes to resolve traffic jams is not the better idea. Firstly, most cities are already crowded, in other words, there is a limitation of space for wider roads. Secondly, the construction mostly is a time-consuming project. For example, land acquisition is an essential task by authorities before the roadwork, and it may force some individuals to move their house. After going through all these procedures, it may spend few years to finish. Finally, the government has to invest a considerable amount of money on expanding roads, in terms of the complicated of work.

Rather than building lanes, I would suggest that government focuses on legislation for enforcing people to take public transportation instead of personal vehicles. Moreover, the legislature should consider the communities' budgets and commute time. For instance, they could use a mechanism of a monthly ticket to intrigue people take the train, metro system and buses at a cheaper price. Perhaps the government could, even more, provide the routes in discount period for public to choose, thus, they can prevent the crowded in some transports.

In conclusion, widen roads is not an adequate suggestion to diminish the traffic jam and congestion problem. Comparing to the roadwork, building the law is more efficiency, and it not only directly benefits to civics but also is more practical in modern cities.
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