Writing Feedback / The changes in annual spending in particular UK School : WRITING TASK 1 IELTS [2]

expedintures in a british school

A breakdown of information concerning the proportion of money (in percentage) spent on a particular school in the United Kingdom in three different years selected (1981, 1991 and 2001) is exhibited in the pie charts. It is noticeable that teachers' salaries, furniture and equipment, and insurance showed an ascending trend, while other workers' salaries and resources witnessed a descending trend. In addition, the school in UK spent more on teachers' salaries compared to other expenditures, while insurance had the smallest percentage of expenditure.

A more detailed look at the charts reveals that approximately 40% money was allocated to teacher budget in 1981, and this number showed the largest proportion compared to other budget. The number increased slightly after reaching a peak of a half percentage in 199, rising to 45% in 2001. Furthermore, Furniture and insurance expenditure inclined gradually, the former rose from 15% to 23%, while the latter climbed by 6% between 1981 and 2001. In stark contrast, the figure for Insurance is responsible to the lowest proportion over the period.

Moving to the rest expenditures, two figures witnessed a downward trend. Figure for other workers' salaries showed a gradual decrease, declining from 28% to 15%. Similarly, the figure for books budget went down gradually between 15% and 9% from 1981 to 2001, a decrease of 6% in 20 years.

Note: due to measuring my score, apart from an helpful comment, please to give a possible detailed feedback and to score for different part, thank you.

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Writing Feedback / A person's worth VS old-fashioned value : IELTS WRITNG TASK 2 [2]

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

Money Became the Measure of Everything

It is inevitable that some people strongly consider more social conditions and worldly goods rather than good characters such as trust and honor when they meet others today. In this case, personally, I agree with this notion and will explain with several relevant examples in this essay.

Firstly, one major issue is perhaps caused by lacking in old-fashioned values due to money-oriented attitude. In the recent days, people tend to take social qualities into account ranging from how much they have money, cars, and homes to even jet planes. This affects their pivotal decision regarding their future like a marriage. In Indonesia, for example, person wanting to marry will look and choose wisely her bridegroom by considering at how much money and homes. Last information, The Jakarta Post - an English of Newspaper, reveals that a young female get married an older man who had 3 cars and 5 houses. By this meaning that the bride has avoided the important values such as good looking, trust and kindness because she prefer to person who has valuable possessions.

Turning to another reason, having a great status is truly respected more rather than good personalities in measuring a person's worth. This results in their considerations in political election, for instance, where the majority of people believe more in candidates who have high social status like elite-generating candidate such as police compared to those who have a moral credibility in society as well as leadership like imam, a person leading people in mosque. It seems that people prefer modern-statues value to old-fashioned value.

Take everything into account, people living in modern world objectively judge measure others using the number of material possession and the social statues.