Writing Feedback / Prevention: The Only Solution To Our Health Problems [2]

prevention is better than cure

IELTS Writing Task 2
The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

Answer
As for health issues, some people argue that prevention is better than cure, so governments should allocate more funds on preventive measures. Personally, I strongly agree with these views.

One of the primary cause is that prevention is the only way to dealing with many diseases for which no cure has been found. The concept of prevention represents opportunities to avoid many diseases if we take proactive steps before a problem forms. For many uncurable diseases like tobacco-related cancer, patients have to count down the rest of their life when receiving the result of a cancer diagnosis. In this regard, research shows that smoking makes cancers more likely, so doctors urge people to stop is an indispensable step to help them prevent it. Thus, perhaps prevention plays more significant impacts for many incurable diseases.

Apart from the argument above, I also believe that it is realistic that government spend more funds on the prevention than the cure. Medical system using public funding is impossible to afford all people's demands concerning treatment and medicine. It is costly to buy effective drugs, and facilities and equipment also come at a massive cost to the government. By contrast, it is manifestly cheap that governments spend money on launching campaigns to encourage a healthy lifestyle, including a balanced diet and regular exercise. So there are manifested benefits to government spending on prevention.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that influence by prevention is higher than cure. Therefore, there are reasonable arguments that require more funs on the prevention.

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Thanks for any comment!

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 - essay about reasons why young people have a negative attitude towards learning? [2]

Topic
Many people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? How to solve the problem?

youngsters bad opinion on schools

Answer
It is true that our society sees an increasing amount of adolescents who are not satisfied with their education at school, especially after graduation. There are a variety of possible reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem.

In my opinion, two main factors are to blame for why young people are cynical towards study. The essential one of which is that most young people suffer overwhelming pressure with their studies by the current education system. Schools are just as demanding as a full-time job, and teachers expect their students to do homework and even exam revision on top of attending their classes every day. As a result, it is undoubtedly reasonable that people who once had such experience would not have any willingness to continue to study after graduation.

Apart from the essential reason, another also significant reason is that there exists a manifested gap between what students learn and what they do need in practice. Traditionally, students are trained to work individually and follow instructions given by their superiors or other senior mates. In today's fast-paced world, corporations tend to recruit talents who can work in a team, particularly within interdisciplinary programs. Also, those people who are full of fresh ideas are the most popular candidates at the job market. Thus, students are naturally disgusted with old-fashioned study provided by their colleges or universities.

However, students'attitude can certainly be improved. It is more beneficial to safeguard reasonable free time for young people. In this regard, we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or do spend it doing sports and other leisure activities. Moreover, to satisfy practical demand from industries, that university and college should introduce experts who are experienced in practice, establish co-operated platforms with sectors and send students to various institutions or departments for the sake of enhancing their practical skills. Consequently, when these children leave school, their success and harvest from previous experiences will help them continue to study.

In conclusion, students will continue to reserve an adverse impression towards study unless our education system and school demonstrate their adjustments.

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Thanks in advance for any feedback!