Posts by afaquekhan85

afaquekhan85

Mar 16, 2018

Writing Feedback / Academic result in measuring people's intelligence [2]

This is ambiguous writing... to me, you are lacking in nearly all boxes

1. Lexical Resource = repetition of words, you need better vocabulary and structure
2. Task Achievement = essay does not have a clear set of objective
3. Grammar = there are many issues, sentences are not structured properly
4. Coherence = well they are not connected properly, the topic is not developed enough.

So all in all, an average piece for me 65 out of 100 or 6.0 bands out of 9.0 bands.

afaquekhan85

Mar 16, 2018

Writing Feedback / There is no place left for teachers in today's world. PTE write essay [2]

This is good writing... to me, you have ticked all boxes

1. Lexical Resource
2. Task Achievement
3. Grammar
4. Coherence

In the first paragraph, you have given an overview of the topic and presented you thesis successfully.
in the second paragraph. you have given Topic sentence and example and then discussed it or concluded it.
in the third paragraph, you did the same as in the second.
in the fourth and last, you paraphrased you discussion and concluded it with the point of agreement.

So all in all, a Good piece for me 80 out of 100 or 7.5 bands out of 9.0 bands.

afaquekhan85

Mar 9, 2018

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Fashionable clothes, Is this attitude a positive or negative development? [3]

Prompt: More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes.
Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development?

"Fashion is the product of modern age"

Professor Chow Yong, Institute of Fashion Design, University of Hong Kong. Our appearance is greatly affected by the clothes we wear and it is because of this reason that a growing number of people have begun to question whether we should wear our traditional clothes or follow new trends. Yet, I believe fashion trends offer freedom of expression and satisfaction.

There are positive effects of wearing fashionable clothes. Firstly, following new trends help people, especially teenagers, to cope with peer pressure and can even result in the acceptance among contemporary people. For example, Millions, if not thousands are bullied in schools on daily basis due to their clothing or apparel. Secondly, it is believed that modern clothes make you feel confident as they are portraying a modern image. For instance, Superstar branded shoes from Adidas. Finally, fashionable clothes goes beyond the aesthetic values, it emerges as an expressive tool for designers and wearers to deliver their message to the society. Like a famous Hollywood actress once said, "Give a girl the right attire and she can win the world."

On the other hand, whether it is a good trend or a bad, it depends on the individual's choice, but people need to be aware of disbursement of time and money. Further any new trends are usually fleeting in nature and may shy away within few months. For example, some designer clothes like Prada or Gucci cost hefty amount but they can only be worn for a couple of times. Moreover, some people are obsessed with tailing fashion trends because they offer exclusivity and quality regardless of price. Likewise, bags, glasses and shoes produced by Prada, Channel or Gucci.

In conclusion, I believe people need to find a balance rather than picking one end of the spectrum. Moreover, there is no point in loathing fashion trends. On contrary, they are means of appearance and a source of satisfaction. Therefore, wearing fashionable clothes has a positive effect.