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Posts by heylaa [Suspended]
Name: Jasmine Wong
Joined: Mar 15, 2018
Last Post: Mar 17, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
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From: Singapore
School: Singapore Polytechnic

Displayed posts: 3
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heylaa   
Mar 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / Some people believe that taking their children into the boarding school is the best choice [3]

Hi Tey,

I feel that you could expand more on each point and elaborate more as currently there are a lot of points but not much explanation on each of them. Spotted a few grammatical errors. Could improve on grammar and sentence structure. For example

could lead to depression
curiousity to try ... = are curious to try range of activities that they are interested in
become rebellious

I also feel that you could give a strong introduction to start off the essay.

Band score maybe around mid range
heylaa   
Mar 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / DREAM BIG FUND essay competition [3]

Hi flykitten,

I feel that ur essay could be improved by providing more of a connection for he second last paragraph as currently i feel that the second last paragraph do not link back to the question. Do take note of some grammatical errors too.

For example:
... infrastructure here is twice as challenging
... has greater chance to realize = give me more chances to realise
is going to be my foundation
heylaa   
Mar 15, 2018
Undergraduate / I hope to work as a accountant or as an IT security consultant - My Personal Statement [3]

Hi, pls do help to review my essay for my uni application. Thanks in advance!

Describe an exceptional achievement and/or lesson learned in your academic or work experience. How would your experiences support your choice of programme(s)? What are your plan(s) upon graduation? (300 words)

Personal Statement For University



During my final year project, I led four male classmates to code a mobile app for KK Women and Children Hospital. This is by far the toughest obstacle that I had faced as we were required to learn a new technology and be proficient enough to code the app within a short timeframe.

Nevertheless, I told myself not to give up. Rather than be defeated by it, I fought hard and stayed up until the wee hours to watch online tutorials as well as learning through trial and error to get my functionalities work. Fast forward just 2 weeks before the deadline, I not only manage to produce the core functionalities but also improvised and coded out additional functions on top of the project requirements. This has not only taught me to be committed and focused even if the task on hand is challenging or difficult and has also taught me the importance of managing people in a business context which is essential in the accounting world.

In my course, I have also undertaken an accounting module which allows me to learn concepts such as income statements and this has fuelled my passion in accounting ever since. This experiences has support my choice of programme as I feel that as an accountant, not only do I need solid accounting knowledge but also soft skills such as leadership as well as communication skills which are of paramount importance.

Upon graduation, I would like to work as an accountant in an accounting firm where I provide key financial information to help facilitate business decisions.

Because of my determination of gaining valuable knowledge in the field of accounting as well as a strong background of IT and business, I am keen toundetake bachelor of accounting.
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