heylaa
Mar 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / Some people believe that taking their children into the boarding school is the best choice [3]
Hi Tey,
I feel that you could expand more on each point and elaborate more as currently there are a lot of points but not much explanation on each of them. Spotted a few grammatical errors. Could improve on grammar and sentence structure. For example
could lead to depression
curiousity to try ... = are curious to tryrange of activities that they are interested in
become rebellious
I also feel that you could give a strong introduction to start off the essay.
Band score maybe around mid range
Hi Tey,
I feel that you could expand more on each point and elaborate more as currently there are a lot of points but not much explanation on each of them. Spotted a few grammatical errors. Could improve on grammar and sentence structure. For example
could lead to depression
curiousity to try ... = are curious to try
become rebellious
I also feel that you could give a strong introduction to start off the essay.
Band score maybe around mid range