Writing Feedback / Unequality in this world; Ielts topic: The gap between the rich and the poor. Problems and solutions [2]

I know that my essay is still really simple with the mistakes so I'm really thankful if you feed back me the suggestions.

the disturbing discrepancy

Over the centuries, the world seems to be getting more unequal, not because of the authority's discipline imposing on human rights or others exaggerated roots, but the distance between the weath and the poor is being extended. Although lots of people nurture the belief that the consequences caused by this phenomenon could not be solved, there are various ways to restrict the gap' size as the solutions.

First, the immense downsides of this problems should be exposured for the sake of considering the solutions to deal with. Fundamentally, it affects widely on the community, when people from different classes are not treated in the same way. If this phenomenon continues prolonging, the poor might form the unconfidence, the inferiority and, furthermore, the invisible barrier in integrating into society. In another aspect, this gap is threatening the development of one country's commerce and economy. For instance, people living in higher standard obviously demand the premium items with their purchasing power parity, however, the poor even deprive of abilities to afford the essential products for surviving, so it leads to the difficulties in producing the common items that available for the whole sciety.

Therefore, it is crucial that people, especially the government should supply the solutions to diminish the distance, in order to cut down the problems it triggered. Yet opinion polls suggest that the social activities could maintain the connection among people and change their perception also. As a result, the poor with the more optimistic mind could integrate more easily and the rich would have the willing to be more sympathetic with others. On the other hand, the effort in producing the stuffs with high quality but reasonable cost is plausible to be considered by the government.

In conclusion, it is true that the gap between the rich and the poor is extremely disturbing due to its myriad consequences, However, there are still couple of justifiable solutions that need the co-operation between the whole society and the authority to be implemented.