Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Should parents make an important decision for their children?? [5]

Prompt: Should parents make an important decision for their children??

-------------------------
I'm a beginner in writing...I need your help.
Would you mind revising and giving a few feedback for this essay?
Thank in advance from the deepest of my heart
-------------------------

If only I had a time machine like those in sci-fi movies, I would correct every blunder in my life; making an important life decision would be just a ridiculous task for me. In fact, making a decision can lead one to either a shining triumph or a hellish catastrophe; obviously, everyone wants to be successful so they must prudently analyze all decisions before choosing one. For us adolescents to surmount the adversity of choosing a proper pace, parents' advice is necessary. However, I firmly believe that parents shouldn't always make an important decision for their children for three main reasons.

First, parents as experienced adult should lead their children into experienced ones too; making all important decisions which might be a crucial lesson for them should be prohibited. Theoretically, making a decision is almost the same as solving a Mathematics problem since one uses his experience and knowledge to overcome such tasks. In fact, having parents decide what to do all the time for children, which like teachers always indicate solutions, deteriorates their judging skill. As death is inevitable, parents should recognize that one day they exist nowhere, they should let their children make a decision by themselves so that they can manage how to make a decision better in long run.

Second, only children themselves know what is inside their deepest urge. Parents' advice might be fine in their point of views but not in children's point of views. Believe me, obligating children to follow their parents' pace will lead to a failure in the future. For instance, one of my senior enrolled into medical faculty due to his parents' compulsion; however, he longed to be a singer. As a result, he didn't persevered in his studying, thus his grade is horrible.

Third, especially for teenagers, the fact that even now they still need parents' advice extremely humiliates themselves. As treating teenagers like that triggers them to be under a delusion that parents still look at them as a baby in pamper. Parents should perceive that we, teenagers, want to act like we're now mature so the best thing to do is just giving us love and information not a pure decision.

In everyday life, we have to face problems in making a decision; the decisions we made now can payback to us anytime. The better one knows how to make a proper decision, the better for him to grow into a promising adult. The thing is parents shouldn't help their children in making a decision by tell them what to do because that might make their children into inexperienced adult, contrast to their ideas and disgrace them.

Writing Feedback / Exercise for upcoming final exam: How to be a good manager? [2]

How to be a good manager?
--------------------------------
I'm a beginner in writing...I need your help.
...(I want to make it concise but I really don't know how)
Would you mind revising and giving a few feedback for this essay?
Thank in advance from the deepest of my heart
--------------------------------

For every kind of work to be successful, a competent manager is a need. In fact, if people work together with no one leading the way, argument will take place which will exactly lead to a failure. Because everyone has their own thought, thus the beginning of disputes so there should be one who can calm the tension and lead everyone to a success, manager. However, not everyone can be a good manager; in my opinion, the fine manager should be shrew in exploiting other people and in communicating.

For a manager to be a good leader, one should be astute in utilizing people. As everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, the efficient manager must be able to recognize them and choose proper people for a suitable task. To make it clear, for an operator task which requires a garrulous person to work; the fine manager mustn't choose a taciturn person to do that job, and should be able to find a suitable job for the taciturn person as he/she might be extremely professional in some task.

Another thing a good manager must have is shrewdness in communicating. No one wants to do a job for people who talk bad to them. The effect of a manager talking bad isn't on his/her colleagues only, but also on outsiders. Because whenever a person is in his/her bad mood, he/she might accidentally trigger resentment of outsiders. In fact, when one is in bad mood, he/she doesn't seem to talk prudently.

In conclusion, not everyone can be a manager and not every manager can be a fine one; for one to be a good manager, one must be clever in both skills: choosing people for a suitable task and persuading people to do their work competently. Since such skills make people want to work from their heart which will lead into promising outcome.