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Posts by lennonmenace
Name: Sukriti Kumar
Joined: Oct 19, 2018
Last Post: Feb 8, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: India
School: Delhi University

Displayed posts: 6
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lennonmenace   
Feb 8, 2021
Writing Feedback / Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem? [3]

Although you have included relevant examples from experience that are apt on a more individual level, you should look at more examples that have been successful to curb obesity globally. This needs to be researched and incorporated in the essay. I believe it would make your prompt stronger and well researched. Here are some examples I could think of :

1. Tax- Countries have implemented tax on fattening foods- you might want to look at this and see if something like this was effective
2. Food Labels- There are policies in countries around labels to help consumers understand what they're eating
3. Education and communication strategies: Any educational interventions that have been successful in preventing obesity.
lennonmenace   
Oct 23, 2018
Scholarship / Endeavour Scholarship Essay (MS Data Science) [2]

Enhancing the Internationalisation for Australia's education, training and research sectors. (maximum 300 words)
Explain how the Masters program will enhance collaborative partnerships with key institutions in India
Describe how these partnerships will strengthen the capacity of Australia's education, training and research sectors
Outline any anticipated educational, social, economic or other benefits.


The versatility in the implementation of data science in different fields allows for endless development and innovation. A boom in structured data has caused prediction strategies and optimization to become the fulcrum for business and socio-economic achievements. With the set-up of the AISRF (India-Australia Strategic Research Fund), major collaborative projects in agriculture, renewable energy and marine sciences can be interwoven with data science for socio-economic benefits. Additionally, collaborative research between India and Australia on new concepts like AI and Cloud Computing can boost Australia's entrepreneurial facets.

India has a population of over a billion people, and 70% of this lives in rural areas. Despite 40% of the country's workforce in agriculture, the industry contributes a meagre 16% to the GDP. This disproportionate performance in agriculture is caused by a myriad of failures, one being the paltry R&D initiation. With the onset of precision agriculture: "increasing efficiency and productivity through scientific approaches to planting, fertilizing, and harvesting" as mentioned by Brand Niemann, Indian agriculture could heavily benefit from data science applications in farming resulting in an increased agricultural productivity. This includes predicting and preparing for crop calamities caused by the anthropogenic global climate change, genome research through data analysis: making farmers aware of how their seeds would react to a particular disease and how to intervene. These research initiatives directly align with the Aid Investment Plan, South Asia Regional Development Program. Additionally, they provide Australia with new research avenues, involving agricultural advancements in a contrasting economy and terrain.

A Masters in Data Science from The University of Melbourne will enhance my theoretical knowledge, enabling me to apply analytical concepts innovatively. In addition to the academic value, the program will also establish a cross-cultural context, strengthening the existing global and diverse educational environment making it more open-minded and socially acceptable.
lennonmenace   
Oct 23, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2 - Is punishment a good way to teach children good manner? [6]

The last line seems a little abrupt, maybe you could add two/three more lines to it to the conclusion. Otherwise, the essay seems good! Also, you seem to have forgotten the "with" in "so I disagree (with) most of the given statement."
lennonmenace   
Oct 23, 2018
Scholarship / Working in a team brings understanding to the "leadership" meaning [4]

@Holt has provided you with some great insights into what you could improve in your essay. I'd like to add a small point: you've used a lot of "I's" in your essay, making it very monotonous. Maybe you could try framing your sentences differently to break the monotony of the "I have/had/done".
lennonmenace   
Oct 20, 2018
Scholarship / Seeking suggestions/opinions on essay for Endeavour Postgraduate Leadership Award (MS Data Science) [4]

Thankyou for your feedback @holt. I will definately include internships and research details. Additionally, I would like to point out that the 'proposed leadership activity' is rather the MS course itself as of what I understood from the guidelines. Kindly correct me if I'm wrong.

As per this year's Endeavour Guidelines:

"Applicants are expected to propose a Leadership Activity which will contribute to the objectives of the ELP (Section 2). Eligible Leadership Activities include:
lennonmenace   
Oct 19, 2018
Scholarship / Seeking suggestions/opinions on essay for Endeavour Postgraduate Leadership Award (MS Data Science) [4]

leadership activity essay



Please summarise, in words that can be understood by a person outside your field, details of your proposed leadership activity, why you chose your proposed host organisation and what your proposed leadership activity is intended to achieve. Also provide details, including proposed dates and locations of any proposed fieldwork and/or internships.

The Harvard Business Review has labelled data science the "sexiest job of the 21st century". And quite rightly so, considering the inconsistent fluctuations in the climate, stock markets, food supply, renewable energy and other phenomena that are often studied, forecasted and optimized by experts through an extensive study of past data. Data science is the study of unstructured and raw data to extract meaningful information and detect patterns for social, economic and business benefit.

With all the buzz around technical jargons such as 'Big Data', 'Artificial Intelligence', 'Machine Learning' etc., one only finds it more elating to delve into the field. I have thus chosen to enroll myself in the MSc Data Science program for the year 2019 at the University of Melbourne. In addition to the prominent world and country rankings, especially in computer science and statistics, the University of Melbourne has also been affiliated with a notable number of Nobel Laureates specifically in the field of science. This remarkable performance is a true representation of the high-quality research produced at the university. Moreover, the data science program at the university is a unique and comprehensive program, with an extensive base in both computer science and statistics. The course encompasses a variety of sub-topics under data science and also includes two capstone projects that will help leverage my acquired skillset.

With a masters in data science, I intend on achieving a solid theoretical base that will play a crucial role in my proposed field of research i.e. data science in agriculture. Further, I am highly motivated to receive consistently high grades that will allow me to undertake an individual research project as a part of the curriculum. The program also gives me a unique experience to ideate and collaborate with students from all around the world.
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