Graduate / addressing a tricky topic-business school essay-Comments welcome. [3]

I would like to take this opportunity to explain my unemployed status since april 2007. I moved to America on a H4 or a dependent visa which does not allow me to work here.

I spent considerable time and energy looking for a job and a company that could sponsor my work permit. Through out the process a number of companies showed interest in my profile and were willing to hire me but none of them had resources in place to apply for a work permit. I understand that laws are in place for a reason and therefore, even though it is disheartening, I have kept myself upbeat about the whole situation.

I decided to use this period to do things I have always wanted to do. Inspired by Pablo Picasso and Georges Braque, I tried my hand at cubism and discovered an innate creative talent that I never had the opportunity to express before. I pursued online courses in Intellectual property rights from WIPO and Organizational psychology from Universal classes.These were topics of great interest to me. Fueled by my passion for community service, I worked with the local library helping them out with every day needs. Next, I volunteered with Literacy Unlimited as an English language tutor for non-native English speakers. As a volunteer, I have met people whom I would have not met in my usual personal/professional circle. It has given me a great sense of personal satisfaction as it has strengthened my conviction that every individual in their own way, can significantly contribute in the growth of others in the community. This affirmation contributes to the need to continue to be the person I want to be. I will continue to make a positive difference to the society in any way possible.

I am a self motivated person who always looks for the silver lining in any unfortunate circumstance. My creativity and compassion would be a pleasant addition to the class of 2010. While at --------, I hope to share my experiences and perspectives and also learn through the experiences and perspective of others. My life is richer and my goals are greater because I opened myself to so many new people and ideas.

In closing, I want to emphasize that I believe I am an ideal match for the -------'s MBA program. I possess strong academic background and I am mentally and emotionally ready for the challenge of the course. I will tackle it with all my drive, energy and enthusiasm. If accepted to the program I assure you that I will not let the school, faculty or my fellow students down.

Please accept my thanks for your time and consideration.

Graduate / "As a student at your business school "- boring?grammatically well constructed? [4]

It is not "P", it is "B". Salwa is from egypt, They don't have a 'P" sound. I see the frustration on her face. I feel helpless myself. I take a deep breadth and say, "let's take it from the start again." This was 8 months ago. Today, she may not be as fluent as she wants to be, but she can construct meaningful english sentences. We watch american sitcoms together, my idea of introducing her to every day american life. She even manages to get the sarcastic humor of Seinfeld sometimes.

I am no authority on written and spoken english. But I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to study in good english medium schools and access to every kind of book possible. I also knew, how important communication skills were. It gnaws at your confidence when you lack it. I have experienced that myself. So, when I realized I could volunteer at an organization called Literacy Unlimited, and make a difference in one person's life, I did not hesitate. I have been working with my egyptian student as an ESL tutor for last 8 months, hoping to make her dream of becoming an account, come true. And she, in turn has introduced me to egyptian cuisine and culture.

On the surface, I think I am like most young and modern women. I am ambitious and organized. I believe that knowledge and hard work goes hand in hand and is always rewarded. What makes me different, is, my ability to connect with people. I am a good listener and that has garnered me a lot of friends. But I am also very proactive. I don't believe in giving suggestions. I take initiatives. I have taken small initiatives with in my community to help out women. Most of the women, I know are on a certain visa, that does not allow them to work. In the beginning, it is easy to think of it as a welcome break. But with time, boredom takes over leading to resentment. I have been actively involved in arranging arts and crafts classes, book clubs and language learning classes. The agenda is to learn some thing new every day. I see far more happier faces around me and that I feel rewarded.

As a student at your business school, I will not only bring with me strong commitment to academic success, staunch work ethics, leadership skills and dedication, but also my enthusiasm for life and people. To say,I work well with people is an understatement. A lot of business school is about working on projects in a group. I am also capable of taking creative initiatives. My strong GPA and GMAT also indicates, I work well under pressure. I know that there is nothing I can not accomplish once I set my mind to it. Hence, I think I would be an asset and a refreshing addition to the class of 2010.