Undergraduate / UNC Wilmington Application Essay Critique [2]

The prompt: Reflecting on your personal and educational goals, please write about how you believe UNC Wilmington will allow you to grow as a student and as a person. Please also feel free to provide any explanations about your academic history. 300-500 words.

Hobby turned to Calling

I was twelve years old when I bought my first computer. Little did I know, it would set me on a journey that would lead to me finding my calling. Now there's not a doubt in my mind that I want to pursue Information Technology as my career path, and I feel that UNC Wilmington is the best option for me. There's still a lot for me to learn, I believe that UNC Wilmington will give me the tools and the resources to achieve the knowledge necessary to succeed in my desired career path. Not only does UNC Wilmington have classes pertaining to Information Technology, but they also have clubs that would allow me to demonstrate what I've learned, such as the Cyber Defense Club. The habitat provided by UNC Wilmington will be the perfect place for me to put my passion and knowledge into. By enrolling in the Information Technology program, I will be given the opportunity to meet many like-minded individuals who share the same passion as I do. Anything can happen when people with the same passion get together, and that's what excites me the most about UNCW. The atmosphere for learning and bettering one's self, especially with my desired major, is unmatched by every other school in North Carolina.

I also believe that the lessons learned while enrolled at UNC Wilmington will help me function better not only as a student but as a member of the workforce and society. The majority of the classes I've already taken have been taken online, resulting in me being mostly disconnected from the school. Being required to really "get out there" and get involved with the school will teach me greater personal involvement with what I'm focused on. Instead of working alone, I'll be engaged with a body of people who are all out to learn. University is one of the best places to learn these life lessons, and UNC Wilmington has the best Information Technology program in the state, I couldn't imagine wanting to go anywhere else.

Thanks for any pointers you give me! Lay it on me, no mercy.