Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES AND SOLUTIONS [3]

1) type of an essay is crucial, so when asking for a review, it is better to mention the exact essay question. In the intro you have to give a precise answer to it. Your conclusion will also be based on the type of essay question. I would advise watching you tube videos on 7 IELTS essay types, it`s very helpful.

2) there are a lot of words that repeat themselves, such as "some" or "environmental", it is better to make sure this does not happen and use synonyms

3) the conclusion should be a direct answer to the essay question, not a general statement
4) try to use more sophisticated sentence structure, passive voice, conditionals, cleft sentences
given that.... It is needless to say that... What people do is... You can google more examples, it can raise your band by 0.5 at least

Good look!

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: NOT HAVING CHILDREN AT A YOUNG AGE [3]

1) in the introductory paragraph you say that you will explore the reasons, but you did not answer the main question: Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? It is better to answer precisely that, for example, «this essay will explain why there are more pros than cons regarding this issue». it is very important

2) it is better to use child than a kid, its more academic

3) word upbringing is used twice, better to use raise (or another synonym)

4) in the end, I would add straightforwardly that «there are more advantages...», to point it out to an examiner that you answered the essay question.

It has sophisticated vocabulary and idioms which is very good.

I personally was given band 7 for writing, so I am not an absolute expert and can`t evaluate your essay with a grade, just pointed out what caught my eye. I recommend watching youtube videos on writing 2. there are some good advices. Good luck!