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Posts by salam237
Joined: Sep 27, 2009
Last Post: Apr 5, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: United Arab Emirates

Displayed posts: 4
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salam237   
Apr 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / Children at work: damaging and wrong? [2]

In many developing countries, children work in some form to bring in necessary income from any early age. In the first world, many people think this damaging and wrong but others would argue that their work brings them a sense of contributing, belonging and responsibility. What is your opinion?

In today's economic environment, there have been a growing number of children engaging in some kind of paid work at early age because their families need some additional income. The discussion of what leads to the involvement of children in early job has been a highly debatable and controversial issue of whether it is right or it is off beam. There are many people on either side of the debate; some are of the opinion that says it is erroneous and harmful phenomenon, whilst others stand on different ground, they claim that it is advantageous and profitable work beside hands-on experience.

On the one hand, some people advocate that employing of children could be productive and gainful and those who hold this point of view argue that it has had been largely beneficial. Firstly, the youngsters experience could help them to become more confident and independent. Secondly, children get a taste of diverse workplaces, which might inspire a possible career interest.

On the other hand, there are those who disagree with this; they are not convinced and strongly oppose it; they tend to claim that there is also contrary evidence indicating early work is harmful for children and would ruin their life owing to a plethora reasons. At the outset, most of the places children are engaged in low paid labor work such as servants. The experience they obtain might not be useful for their future. Consequently, children may not develop. Secondly, which could be the worst is children may leave their education, which is more fruitful and gainful than manual work. Schooling provides a broad understanding and could open the door to better and greater job opportunities.

By and large, all these analyses and arguments combine to make a strong case, which leads to opinion that obligating and utilizing children in a job at early ages seemed to be entirely beneficial. However, further analysis reveals drawbacks to this way of thinking for the reason that it might be a curse and it could has detrimental effect as well. Thus, I tend to think that cons created by children work are far outweighing its pros and there are no useful skills involved
salam237   
Feb 18, 2011
Writing Feedback / SPECIALISTIC SUBJECTS v A RANGE OF SUBJECTS IN UNIVERSITY [3]

it is very good one, wide range of new vocabulary, plus range of sentence constructions, but :
it is long , the total number of words are 325 which leads to more grammatical mistakes plus spelling mistakes so take care, stuck to the requirements
salam237   
Feb 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - pros and cons; working or traveling before starting university studies [5]

the chance

a chance

starting time not start time

I advice you to use this
When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a rest or continue their education in the beginning of the introduction

start the body paragraphs
with On the on hand
On the other hand
salam237   
Jan 18, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay about work hours Long or short work hours - feedback [2]

Long-standing and till nowadays; we have been living in the age of aggressive materialism, and it is an obvious fact that financial aspects and monetary have become a major, and a part and parcel of daily life. The increasing of the revenue is vital for profit maximization of any organization and productivity has been traditionally linked to work hours. However, working longer hours may not necessarily higher output. Furthermore, longer hours may have detrimental effects on work life balance and productivity. Therefore, I tend to think that the benefits created by shorten work hours far outweigh their disadvantages

To begin with, productivity is a function of output and time. Besides, increasing working hours may appear as a magical solution to increase productivity. Nevertheless, there are a plethora of studies done to show that having longer working hour resulted in decreasing productivity. More working hours can mean increasing fatigue rather than increasing productivity and could negatively influence work life balance, which means less family meeting, personal life and even leisure. Furthermore, children are likely to receive less attention from busy parents, and childrearing is likely to be subjectively worse .This will affect his/ her productivity at work. On contrary, decreasing working hours enhance the work life balance and productivity which points to a large quantity of relaxation. This help open up horizon and gaining much knowledge.

To approach this point of view from another angle, working long hours puts stress on both brain and body. For example, if you constantly burn the midnight oil you'll eventually suffer from burnout and you may even become sick. Over the course of time, working excessively can contribute to decreased health. Therefore, productivity could be hindered. Moreover, people require sleep in order to re-energize because the human body is built to need this in order to sustain.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that long working hours will result in earning more money at the cost of stress-related health problems as well as a "drought of leisure." Therefore the productivity of an employee does not depend on how many hours he works but how much he/she enjoys his/her work. Maintaining a work-life balance is extremely important for both the employer and employee as this will help boost the productivity.
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