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Posts by gbhanjana
Name: Geetika
Joined: Jan 27, 2019
Last Post: Jan 29, 2019
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: India

Displayed posts: 3
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gbhanjana   
Jan 29, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Grouping students in regard to their behaviour [4]

I am not a native speaker but few errors I can highlight in your essay so that u improve next time.

Introduction: Your opinion is not clear : I do that agree to this ...
Try to write outline statement with a small reason to your agreement or disagreement

There should be atleast two body paragraphs

Few errors highlighted below:
other fellow classmate use only "classmate" or change the sentence as something looks wrong here.
Every student... are is different
each all of them
the their responsibilities
A lot of school follows

Also, try to use multiple sentence structures in your essay

Conclusion: your opinion is not clear in conclusion
it is absolutely necessary for the schools to not group them as per their behaviour rephrase the sentence as it is confusing
gbhanjana   
Jan 27, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem [4]

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

the increased traffic problem



In past one decade, vehicles have increased by many folds on roads across the globe and this is becoming a major issue, specifically, in metro cities. The prime reason is the migration of job-seekers to urban cities and the secondary one is poor public transportation facility, however, these can be resolved with certain steps by authorities.

To initiate with, the foremost reason for the increased traffic is the relocation of individuals to large cities in search of their employment. That is to say, first thing done by these immigrants is to arrange a convenient mode of transport for themselves when they move to a new place.A recent survey by Regional Transport office in Pune suggests that the number of cars have increased by 100 folds in last 5 years due to increase in migrated population. The second most prominent cause is the poor public transportation which forces inhabitants to buy a personal conveyance. Because of less frequency and unhygienic conditions, daily travelers hesitate to commute via public buses and trains and end up purchasing a convenient mode for themselves. Hence, it can be seen that both these conditions are contributing to the rapid increase in traffic.

However, certain steps in the direction to resolve above mentioned issues can surely curtain the traffic congestion on roads. Firstly, small cities and rural areas need to be industrially developed so as to maintain the concentration of population across the cities which as a result can control the migration to main towns. Secondly, government should invest some funds to improvise the public transportation in order to make it comfortable for the users. With the introduction of Metro train in Delhi, 20% of the vehicles have reduced on road as the commuters find this mode of transport swift and economical. These steps towards development can definitely curb traffic on roads.

To recapitulate, traffic is persistently rising in metro cities all over the world due to increase in relocation from countryside and vulnerable public transport in big cities. To guard this situation, government should take steps to establish industries in small cities and should also, plan to improve public transport.
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