Scholarship / Materials for energy and environment, cooperation with future leaders COMMONWEALTH SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY [2]

Hi! Even though the topic is unfamiliar to me I came up with a few suggestions.
I liked that you briefly explained your earlier studies in a paragraph however in paragraph 2 it is, in a way, too brief. You simply name the courses you've taken but they will find this information on your transcript anyway. What you can do is to choose one or two courses among them and explain what you gained from them.

The paragraph you talk about the mentorship is good. My only critique would be that the transition to the paragraph after it is too abrupt. You may need a transitioning sentence to state that now you are going to talk about your research goal.

Best of luck!

Scholarship / KGS 2019 Personal statement (International Studies) [3]

First of all hi and good luck on the scholarship! I am not capable of reviewing your essay but I have a few suggestions.
First, I think you tried to use too many phrases while starting your sentences and sometimes it looks a little forced. I suggest simply writing your sentence or starting with -ing verbs.

Second, here I see "why" you want to be selected by GKS but I have no idea "what" you are going to do. Stating your career path or academic goals clearly is important. In order to do all of this, what are you going to study/research?

Last, I may suggest that you talk more in depth of the things you mentioned like the exchange program. What are those challanges? Why did it boostyour aspirations? It seems vague without the details.

All in all, it is a simple and complete essay but it needs more depth and detail, in my opinion.