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Posts by julggo44 [Suspended]
Name: Scholar Paul
Joined: Mar 13, 2019
Last Post: Mar 13, 2019
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julggo44   
Mar 13, 2019
Essays / Perfect Software - Help on generating topic. [2]

I think it's full enough but some is redundant, personally.
For ex: "-Dangers of malfunctioning software" ( I think that you will off-topic if you wanna delve into the right of each consumers) or "Breach on code of conduct on malfunctioning software" .Or, you should debate less on those and concentrate on main thing.
julggo44   
Mar 13, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: In many schools and universities, girls tend to choose art subjects and boys choose science [2]

hey, I have some advices may be helpful for you !
u use some inappropriate words and expressions like "dominant factors" ( use major/ main instead) or "I am persuaded that " ( let change to "I agree" might more sensible)

"... qualities of works of arts" ( avoid using double "of")
"Differently, the portrayal of men ..." u shouldn't use " differently" to begin the sentence.

In addition, I see a lot of single sentences that u can extent to make your essay much more interesting