Writing Feedback / GRE Task: Showerhead modification saves money [NEW]

Showerhead modification saves money

For the Sunnyside Towers GRE prompt, the task is to discuss what questions would need to be answered to assess if the prediction is reasonable. (This task can be read on page 6 of the argument pool tasks on the ETS website.)

My Response:

It is not possible to judge whether the prediction that modifying the showerheads to restrict maximum water flow will increase corporation profits. The owner's assumption that the manager is saving on water is unsubstantiated without the before and after data. The manager may be paying larger amounts because the tenants are taking longer showers to adjust to the new showerheads. Another assumption is that the manager is saving money because the tenants are using less water when the tenants may not be using the water at all. Tenants unsatisfied with the new showerheads may be leaving the complex entirely. In this case, the manager would be saving on water but not increasing his profits as he has no tenants paying rent. The last assumption is that all the buildings in Sunnyside have the same number of showerheads and the same concentration of tenants per showerhead. If the logistics of the showerheads and usage are not uniform throughout the buildings, then the assumption that the same modification of more showerheads, will increase profits may be false. Without more usage data and logistical research on the usage within all the buildings, the owner's argument that the new showerhead configurations will increase profits is risky at the manager will face the fine if the prediction is wrong.

Writing Feedback / GRE: Employee productivity and Internet usage [2]

This is a GRE Analytical Writing Argument task. I am wondering what I would score out of 6 for this response and how I could improve the strength of my response.

Prompt:

The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."

Write a response in which you examine the states and/or unstated assumptions of the argument.

Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

My response:

The author's argument that the productivity of company employees is limited by their use of the Internet at their workstations is weakened by the inherent assumptions of that statement. The author assumes employees who use the Internet at their workstations are using it to spend time on non-work-related activities such as shopping or playing games. The employees could, in fact, be using the Internet to research solutions and resources to help them complete their work more quickly. The author assumes that by monitoring employees'' Internet use, the company can curb employees' time waste. The author's proposition does not account for the other ways that employees could be wasting time, including excessively frequent breaks or excessively long lunch and bathroom breaks. Employees could also be wasting company time while chatting with co-workers. The author's solution does not track these behaviors, meaning company time waste would not be prevented. The author also assumes that there exists a software capable of differentiating what activities the employees are using the Internet to carry out. Though the software may be able to detect whether employees are surfing popular shopping and gaming websites, the author does not specify whether the software can detect when employees are using the Internet to collaborate on company projects with each other or research solutions from third-party websites. Falsely attributing Internet use to wasting time and accusing employees of abusing Internet privileges could lead to low employee morale, which could lead to reduced productivity and profits. By not addressing these assumptions, the author's belief that employee's productivity could be increased by controlling Internet usage at company workstations is weakened.