Posts by zagger

zagger_dat

Jun 22, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: pie charts about the average percentages of nutrients [3]

to begin with, they want you to summarize the information in the pie chart. that is they want the relevant information.
in my view what relevant is the composition of the useful '
- notice how breakfast has the least of everything - sodium, sugar and saturated fats...what conclusions can you draw from this ? why is breakfast considered the most important meal of the day ?. would you conclude that breakfast is the healthiest ?

- enter lunch, lunch has over 25% sodium and saturated fat but less that 20% added sugar. what conclusion can you draw from this observation ?

- dinner has over 35% sodium and saturated fat and less than 30% added sugar

-snacks have the most added sugar, minimal saturated fat and very little sodium.
ponder over the lives of people who focus on just one meal. say just breakfast or lunch or dinner. are they healthy ?

zagger_dat

Jun 22, 2019

Scholarship / Teachers: Influencers in Schools and Communities - Chevening Scholarship essay [2]

Hi,

I think you've succeeded in answering the prompt by explaining in detail how you meet the requirement. A few things I'd like you to correct is your grammar usage and vocabulary.

- the first sentence is somewhat extraneous. It can be improved by simply stating, "In my opinion, the main task of a good teacher is to push the young generation forward to be the cornerstone of the the future society. This can only be accomplished through faith and the belief that their students carry a noble message aimed at serving humanity"...saying "

-"increase their level up" is tautology ...increase already refers to something going higher, up does the same thing too
-change "Being a teacher of English working with Save the Children over two years and still" to "from my experience as an English teacher and through my acquaintance with save the children (which i believe is an organization) over the last two years"...you could then say you've gained sufficient knowledge in the field and you are able to distinguish between priorities....

-there should be a comma after moreover, you could also say being a teacher has enhanced/sharpened your thinking faculty
- i would say to also be more in-depth and describe the results of your influence on theses students...give short, precise and detailed examples of how your culture of collective work has influenced students, how it has impacted them.

-give examples of the sentimental/psychological support

^^i hope that is helpful, best of luck !

zagger_dat

Jun 22, 2019

Scholarship / How to write an appeal for scholarship to a college board. Include strong points and remedies [2]

appeal the loss of my scholarship

Hello everyone, below is a letter of appeal that I would love to send to the board at my school. I appreciate your input ans constructive criticism !

Thank you !

Dear Provost Committee,
I write this letter to appeal the loss of my scholarship due to my inability to meet the required minimum criteria for retainment. I am aware that the criteria to retain a scholarship is a cumulative grade point average of 3.0 after two semesters. I reckon that my cumulative grade point average for the two semesters - fall 2018 and spring 2019 is 2.64 which is below the minimum academic average. While I take full responsibility for this, I would greatly appreciate it if the committee would consider the circumstances that contributed to the drop in my GPA.

As reflected by my grade point average in the fall semester, I was a howling success. I owe this to the fact that my sole responsibility in the fall semester was my academics and I was void of any external interference. However, by the spring semester, I had acquired a job with Student Access Services on campus which affected my academics unknowingly. I imagined I would be able to cope because I had a flexible schedule, but I was wrong. The crux of my problem lay in planning and delegating hours for work and other activities. Prior to that job, I had never dealt with the obligation of handling two responsibilities - work and academic. I was thrown off my game.

In retrospect, I realize that although there is no wrong in taking up another obligation, it should not affect the main commitment which is my academics and in cases like this where it does, critical steps like a leave or resignation are in order. Following this experience, I have learned from my mistakes and I am determined to make the most of this opportunity, should I be given a second chance, to prove myself and exceed the minimum requirements to retain the scholarship. I have been offered a position to work with RSR for the fall and scheduled my work hours such that it doesn't affect my academics. With this in place, you can be assured that such incidents like this will never repeat itself.

Regardless of the final decision, I am utterly grateful for the support and generosity in offering me this scholarship in the first place and I apologize in advance to the numerous people and organizations I have let down through this incident. I only ask that the committee consider my plea and allow me one semester to bring my GPA back up and above the required minimum.

Thank you for taking time out to consider my appeal.