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Jul 18, 2019
Writing Feedback / The widespread use of the internet has affected people life in mostly positive way. [2]
I am not a native speaker, but I would like to try my best help. However, the following tips are my personal opinion, not always correct.
You can use stronger verb more frequently, it will make your essay more persuasive.
Also avoid repetition of words.
The following sentences which were rewritten by me are only for reference.
Firstly, the advantages of using internet ... (utilize or use)
In the past, before the widespread use ...
(Before the popularization of the Internet, students must attended classroom for learning subjects.)
In this present day, by using the internet...
(Nowadays, as the well-development of the Internet, people can study in long-distance, even at home.)
Many schools and organizations that provide ...
(Providing the Internet platforms by schools and institutes for learning had become common services.)
This greatly helps people life especially ...
(people's) (It significantly enhance the efficiency of people's life especially when they are too busy to buy magazines or listen to news from radio.)
And lastly, the use of internet ...
I am not a native speaker, but I would like to try my best help. However, the following tips are my personal opinion, not always correct.
You can use stronger verb more frequently, it will make your essay more persuasive.
Also avoid repetition of words.
The following sentences which were rewritten by me are only for reference.
Firstly, the advantages of using internet ... (utilize or use)
In the past, before the widespread use ...
(Before the popularization of the Internet, students must attended classroom for learning subjects.)
In this present day, by using the internet...
(Nowadays, as the well-development of the Internet, people can study in long-distance, even at home.)
Many schools and organizations that provide ...
(Providing the Internet platforms by schools and institutes for learning had become common services.)
This greatly helps people life especially ...
(people's) (It significantly enhance the efficiency of people's life especially when they are too busy to buy magazines or listen to news from radio.)