Posts by zcs2008china

zcs2008china

Aug 27, 2019

Writing Feedback / TASK: Some people think that one should retire at the age of 65. [3]

@kev2
Para 1: reap the benefits of sth.
Para 2: What did you mean "the others", better use just "others". This para, you didn't explain clearly why it's good for being a developed country. in your topic sentence, you pointed out that's the elderly' rights to work longer. Why it's related to developed countries. It doesn't make sense to me.

Para 3: government society's expense, this is a wrong expression. appeal to, rather than appeal for. Again, topic sentence, it, what's it? this pronoun was been overused.

Para 4: As for conclusions, there should not be new ideas included. wrong word: setback, should be drawbacks.

Suggestions: ideas were not arranged logically, and not convincing at all. You better work on brainstorming practice, and use words more accurately.

zcs2008china

Aug 26, 2019

Writing Feedback / How the agriculture, manufacturing, business and financial services contributed to British economy [3]

General Advice
1. Compare all items based on years, rather than describing each in different years。
2. Pay attention to your prepositions。
3. Don't include the intro and overview in the same paragraph。
4. misused words：reverse，similarly，become more important【not become more and more important part】，subsequently，trend cannot go down to specific figures，become a more significant part【part is countable nouns】

This writing probably will be marked as 6-6.5 which will drag your overall score down.

zcs2008china

Aug 24, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: OVERSEAS RESIDENTS VISITING AUSTRALIA IN TWO SPECIFIC YEARS [4]

@Helen Neleh
the author used intro-overview-body structure to accomplish the task。It's totally acceptable。
I wouldn't use depict， this word literally is widely used in literature，rather than figurative analysis。

zcs2008china

Aug 24, 2019

Writing Feedback / Besides reading, writing, and Math, the computer skills can be also necessary for a child [3]

@vuvietha
There are or is， both are correct。 I searched up and asked few local friends to clarify which one best suits the context， most of them said are is a better word to use here。

I feel like it's a bit weak on my body parts，also conclusion。 Any suggestions？

zcs2008china

Aug 22, 2019

Writing Feedback / Besides reading, writing, and Math, the computer skills can be also necessary for a child [3]

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Computer skills

We have three important parts of education reading, writing, and Math. Some people think every child will benefit from a fourth skill added to the list: computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely acknowledged that some basic skills, such as reading, writing and maths, are needed, but children may need a new one additionally, ICTs, information and communication technologies. From my perspective, although children can benefit from brilliant computer literacy skills, it may not be appropriate to apply to every child.

There are a wide range of benefits of adding computer skills to the school curriculum. Computer skills can enhance children's academic performance more effectively. For example, students who lack the ability to utilise a search engine productively may have trouble conducting research, especially finding available resources for term papers. However, children with proficient computer skills can benefit from gathering online information more efficiently and constructively. For instance, searching data pool could enable students to acquire innumerable valid data from worldwide, which is much faster than looking for books from libraries. Therefore, students can save study time and perform outstandingly.

Nevertheless, highlighting computer skills may not be appropriate for every child. In terms of difficulties of learning computer skills, some children who have learning disabilities, such as sight imparity, cannot cope with such capabilities. Those students, who can continue learning the three core areas as a range of school subjects, are already provided in limited study time. In addition, some students with a low concentration on study but online games may be liable to develop an addiction to computer games. Therefore, learning computer skills turns out to be a good excuse for these students to indulge themselves in the world of Internet, which results in degeneration on academic study.

To conclude, I believe that students' academic performance can be facilitated remarkably if computer skills could be trained in an effective way, while it may be unrealistic to require every child to obtain such skills. Whether or not to add computer courses into school agenda, students' computer skills should be taken into consideration.

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