Posts by student986

student986

Nov 25, 2019

Undergraduate / Air Cadets, full of suprises and changes. - UBC Personal Profile Essay [3]

Hey everyone! Here is another draft of my personal profile paragraph. Any pointers are appreciated, thanks!

What is important to you? And why?

(maximum 250 words)

Adapting to change is one of the most fundamentally important skills a person can have. I realized this when I joined the local Air Cadet organization at the beginning of my high school career. As a recruit, I had few responsibilities since discipline was the main focus as I followed the orders of my seniors. However, as I rose in rank, I quickly realized how much planning and hours of work were put into every parade night. Over time, I rapidly picked up many responsibilities, such as teaching new recruits and commanding syndicates. My leadership, organization, and aplomb were tested every week through practical assessments such as teaching a lesson about aviation or organizing a group of cadets to finish a tasking. Often, sudden changes in circumstances required quick adaptations to find possible solutions. These weekly assessments at Air Cadets have developed me into a resilient person who can adjust to any changing environment and look at a problem from multiple different angles. This ingenuity has also made me into a very reflective person since I always ask myself if there is something I could have improved upon. What I have learned in cadets has been applied both in my volunteering and my part-time work as I tend to address new issues immediately and offer alternative solutions. In conclusion, this asset is most important to me since my ability to adapt and overcome changes defines me as a person who can find unique solutions for challenging circumstances.

student986

Nov 25, 2019

Undergraduate / Perseverance - UBC personal profile: What is important to you and why? [2]

I really like how you used anecdotal evidence to demonstrate how important perseverance is important. You mention that you have developed "soft skills, such as conflict resolution and adaptability", so you should give some hard evidence of how you applied those skills. Maybe show an example of how your adaptability helped you teach the new members. Additionally, I would change the word "forced" to "pushed/compelled" since it gives more of a positive tone. Lastly, you have only used 235/250 words, so maybe add how your leadership has benefited another student or member of the club and changed his/her experience.

student986

Nov 25, 2019

Undergraduate / The Swiss Army Knife - UBC Personal Essay [2]

I really like how you used the symbolism of the swiss army knife to describe yourself, its unique and different from many other profiles which will definitely score you extra points. However, your second paragraph about your exchange trip to Italy does not really connect with the symbolism of the previous paragraph. It sounds like there are two different topics in one answer. Since I am also applying to UBC I believe that there is another section on your profile that asks Tell us more about ONE or TWO activities listed above that are most important to you. Please explain the role you played and what you learned in the process. You will be asked for a reference who can speak to your response. (maximum 350 words). I believe that you can REALLY go deep about your experience in Italy there. Meanwhile, you can write about how the activities in your "In school, I have been student council president......" section where you list out some of your extracurriculars have changed you and helped you define who you are. Remember, UBC wants to know what you LEARNED from these activities, not just a list of them.

Also your original paragraph was 255 words, keep them under the limit :)

student986

Nov 25, 2019

Undergraduate / "How building toys actually made me a better person" - UBC Personal Profile [3]

Hello everyone! This is my first draft for the UBC personal profile I will be submitting. Please take a look and tell me what you think! Thank you!

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

I moved to Richmond in 2009, when I was seven years old. Growing up, I loved to build toys, and I would always cut apart boxes to make my own model airplanes and cars. It has been a hobby of mine that I still carry to this day, and I am very proud of my designs since they represent my ability to create an invention from something that would have otherwise been thrown away. Sometimes, they would fall apart if I do not build them well; so making these novelties have taught me a lot about being comprehensive and meticulous in everything I do. These traits have translated well into my activities in both my community and school. When I am volunteering, guests would often describe me as someone who is attentive to their needs and takes care of the minutiae that turns their experience into an exceptional one. Additionally, my friends who often work alongside me in group projects and community events discover that I am a person that seeks perfection in my work and commits to a task until I am satisfied. Today, I am a person that can work both in teams and independently. My experiences in the neighborhood and at home have shaped me into a person who plans each task all the way through but makes changes accordingly. I believe that my efforts and commitment should be shown through my work in the community and the results I produce.