Undergraduate / UBC Personal Profile Sister's Comparison [2]

I need help revising my personal profile. I am not sure what I should add to this

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

I always felt constantly compared to my sister. My sister is 13 years older than me and excelled in all aspects of life. She contributed to the family company as a key factor, outshined all her peers academically, and held multiple roles in the community. I considered it necessary to fit my parents' high expectations. Thus, in turn, I gained a tremendous drive to succeed and pressure to live up to my sisters' high standards and achieve.

Motivated, positive, and reliable are words often linked to me. My determination and positive attitude constantly had me busy. Growing up as an almost only child, I was treated differently than my sister. Although I was pushed down by heavy expectations, I sought to distinguish myself from my sister by becoming a lead figure in my community. So last year, I had idea to open Operation Smile Club in my school. The goal in mind was to organize fundraisers to donate to Operation Smile, a non-profit medical organization fighting cleft palate. Our fight against the disease gave me the confidence to promote, sell, and lead multiple charity events around the school. Becoming a team leader, I was put in a position to make decisions around the club. I also reclaimed the Fitness Club as new president. Fitness Club was a dying club around the school where students could drop in to discuss nutritional plans, workouts and general health. I take pride in my contributions to school spirit and establishing independence from my sister.