daphnepham
Feb 11, 2020
Undergraduate / Middle school teacher - The most memorable person in your life [3]
You should work more on your grammar
You should work more on your grammar
daphnepham
Feb 9, 2020
Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TRAVELLING ALONE [4]
I think in the body paragraph 1, "Another reason why... is boosting their confidence" sounds unnatural, it should be "why is that..." or "why is because..."
Personally, if you want to get higher score in IELTS writing, try to avoid "In this day and age", "Nowadays" and so on to start an essay because it is familiar with any IELTS learners + annoy some examiners => lose your mark
I think in the body paragraph 1, "Another reason why... is boosting their confidence" sounds unnatural, it should be "why is that..." or "why is because..."
Personally, if you want to get higher score in IELTS writing, try to avoid "In this day and age", "Nowadays" and so on to start an essay because it is familiar with any IELTS learners + annoy some examiners => lose your mark
daphnepham
Feb 9, 2020
Writing Feedback / Discuss about child begging in Vietnam and state my opinion on it. (approximately 150 words) [4]
@Holt
I am appreciated your help. Actually, this is the entrance essay for university. Also, since this is the first time I have post on this website, so next time I will be more careful.
@Holt
I am appreciated your help. Actually, this is the entrance essay for university. Also, since this is the first time I have post on this website, so next time I will be more careful.
daphnepham
Feb 9, 2020
Writing Feedback / Discuss about child begging in Vietnam and state my opinion on it. (approximately 150 words) [4]
Thank you!
apu
Thank you!
daphnepham
Feb 9, 2020
Writing Feedback / Discuss about child begging in Vietnam and state my opinion on it. (approximately 150 words) [4]
People are no stranger to child begging. In Ho Chi Minh City, we can easily see under-12-year-old children begging money from passers-by. Little do people know, they are taught to kowtow and cry to arouse compassion by well-organized begging gangs. Although authorities and non-governmental organizations are trying their best to alleviate the problem, I believe it still lacks tight association. I want to bridge the gap between them so that they can work together more. Moreover, although many organizations have shown enthusiasm in helping the children, very few do actually address it. I want to establish an organization whose resources include former victims of forced child begging. We will inform the public about negative effects to change their mindset, also organize conferences and invite authorities to discuss in detail. It can make the authority tighten the law since in Vietnam, punishment for abusing child begging is light. We can also learn from India: develop fundraising application for easy donation. Together, we can eradicate the issue.
children are forced into begging
People are no stranger to child begging. In Ho Chi Minh City, we can easily see under-12-year-old children begging money from passers-by. Little do people know, they are taught to kowtow and cry to arouse compassion by well-organized begging gangs. Although authorities and non-governmental organizations are trying their best to alleviate the problem, I believe it still lacks tight association. I want to bridge the gap between them so that they can work together more. Moreover, although many organizations have shown enthusiasm in helping the children, very few do actually address it. I want to establish an organization whose resources include former victims of forced child begging. We will inform the public about negative effects to change their mindset, also organize conferences and invite authorities to discuss in detail. It can make the authority tighten the law since in Vietnam, punishment for abusing child begging is light. We can also learn from India: develop fundraising application for easy donation. Together, we can eradicate the issue.
