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Posts by Tang Phuong
Name: Tang Phuong
Joined: Apr 4, 2020
Last Post: Apr 8, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Vietnam
School: PDP

Displayed posts: 5
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Tang Phuong   
Apr 8, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some people think that they should be able to keep the money they earn and do not have to pay tax. [4]

obligations to paying taxes



Some people think that they should be able to keep the money they earn and do not have to pay tax.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Opinions differ as to whether residents should have the right to save their hard-earned salary and should not have an obligation in paying taxes. Personally, I strongly opposed to this statement.

To start with, it's common knowledge that tax revenue is utilised to pay for the public services and facilities infrastructure such as road infrastructure or public transportation. Furthermore, there is a strong connection between tax and old age pension, unemployment benefit and other financial aids. In addition, the emergency agents are funded by state taxes. For those reasons above, I am of the opinion that each individual should have the responsibility to pay the share money to support the government.

Another point to consider is the fact that the residents can reap a great number of benefits not only for each one but also for the whole society. First and foremost, tax revenue is used to spend on social welfare, which will be funded to offer access to education for children from low-income families. Therefore, this will eventually eliminate illiteracy and might shake off poverty. One more benefit is that tax is allocated to fund for the social security network. As a result, the society will be kept safe from social ills.

Opponents of the above statement might argue that the amount of money, which they have kept owing to their refusal to pay tax, can become their retirement savings and they do not need the government's pension. This might be a reasonable claim on the surface, but with a great number of demerits of social issues, some need to reconsider.

To summarise, I am firmly of the opinion that each resident should contribute to the social by paying tax.

Please give me feedback to improve this writing task 2 essay and the band score.
Thank you so much!
Tang Phuong   
Apr 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / Money on average earned - correct this Task 1 IELST Writing [4]

I think the word 'immediately' in the first sentence is unnecessary and also 'this table gives THE information about THE amount of money'
'weekly salary' can be paraphrased into 'wage'
in the body paragraphs, you miss some articles
'Salaries of women also changed to depend on their jobs' - not very clear
Tang Phuong   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some people believe that the world is changing for the better [2]

mixed opinions regarding the change of the world



Essay topic: Some people believe that the world is changing for the better. Some argue that things are changing for the worse. Which statement do you agree with?

Opinions are mixed regarding the change of the world. Some people claim that it is changing for the better day by day. Some assert the reverse that the world itself is getting down. Personally, I find the second idea more convincing.

Initially, in our fast-paced and highly integrated world, technology has been revolutionising with a great amount of cutting-edge equipment. However, this leads to the fact that the Internet actually set people far apart, we communicate through screens. Additionally, our children or friends could get abused not only face-to-face but also cyber bully. Furthermore, the age of people who can get access to the Internet is getting younger than ever before. Uncensored or inappropriate content might be seen by children. For instance, some Youtube channels with a numerous number of subscribers such as 5-minute craft or Troom Troom have made a myriad of videos about daily life tricks but most of them are incorrect and even harmful as well not to mention some detrimental games like the Blue Whale challenge or Momo challenge.

Another point to consider is that the industrialised revolution has seriously damaged the environment. Some of the main reasons can be named as the overuse of non-renewable fossil fuels and the excessive emissions of greenhouse gases like CO2 or CFC. This will eventually lead to the destruction of the ozone layer, greenhouse effect and the extinction of many species. All of the problems above will definitely cause the loss of biodiversity. Imagine one day human beings no longer exist since the destruction of ourselves to the world that we are living in. The Australia bushfires could be a good example. It caused the deaths of thousands of Koalas, which is a third of the number of this species in Australia.

All things considered, it is my strong belief that the world with human domination is deteriorating. Although our living standard has reached a far better condition, but we cannot deny the fact that most aspects of our lives saw a foreseeable degradation.
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