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Some people think that they should be able to keep the money they earn and do not have to pay tax.

Tang Phuong 2 / 3  
Apr 8, 2020   #1

obligations to paying taxes

Some people think that they should be able to keep the money they earn and do not have to pay tax.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Opinions differ as to whether residents should have the right to save their hard-earned salary and should not have an obligation in paying taxes. Personally, I strongly opposed to this statement.

To start with, it's common knowledge that tax revenue is utilised to pay for the public services and facilities infrastructure such as road infrastructure or public transportation. Furthermore, there is a strong connection between tax and old age pension, unemployment benefit and other financial aids. In addition, the emergency agents are funded by state taxes. For those reasons above, I am of the opinion that each individual should have the responsibility to pay the share money to support the government.

Another point to consider is the fact that the residents can reap a great number of benefits not only for each one but also for the whole society. First and foremost, tax revenue is used to spend on social welfare, which will be funded to offer access to education for children from low-income families. Therefore, this will eventually eliminate illiteracy and might shake off poverty. One more benefit is that tax is allocated to fund for the social security network. As a result, the society will be kept safe from social ills.

Opponents of the above statement might argue that the amount of money, which they have kept owing to their refusal to pay tax, can become their retirement savings and they do not need the government's pension. This might be a reasonable claim on the surface, but with a great number of demerits of social issues, some need to reconsider.

To summarise, I am firmly of the opinion that each resident should contribute to the social by paying tax.

Please give me feedback to improve this writing task 2 essay and the band score.
Thank you so much!
TaraAryal23 4 / 12  
Apr 8, 2020   #2
@Tang Phuong
Go with the disagree side for this statement. Earning money and paying tax is the characteristic of responsible citizen. This activity may help country's development........... In this way, you can write
OP Tang Phuong 2 / 3  
Apr 8, 2020   #3
Actually I did go with the disagreement, but, anyway thanks for your advice!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,943 3570  
Apr 15, 2020   #4
Every paragraph needs to have 3 sentences minimum in the presentation. That includes the opening and closing paraphrase. You did quite well in this essay, save for the improper formatting of the opening and closing restatements. Those always need to have at least 3 sentences in it. The opening, rephrases the original prompt, the closing, restates the discussion reasons you provided.

There was just one major formatting error in this essay. You made the singular opinion essay a comparative essay by including the opposing side in the last part of your essay. Remember, this is only a 4 paragraph essay, it isn't composed of 5 paragraph like a compare and contrast essay with a personal opinion. That, is what will create a series of TA deductions in your essay. So, based on the improper formatting of the first and last paragraphs, you will receive hefty deductions already. Add to that the other deductions, such as grammar deductions:

Using contractions in sentences (it's = it is)
Overused expressions that create memorized presentations (First and foremost)

You can see why your essay just might fall under a 5 band score. Not bad for a beginner right? Just remember the errors that you made in this essay and correct them. Your paragraphs fall on the longer side of the discussion but at least your information are all connected so that helped to boost your presentation and your score a lot.

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