Writing Feedback / Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason? [6]

You put a very good conclusion. You conclide all the ideas without repeating any of the aforementioned words. You rephrase it very well.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of it. [3]

Your task 2 essay for IELTS seems quite good for me since you can present two balance reasons for both drawbacks and advantages.