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Task 2: Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of it.


HangPham99 1 / -  
Apr 7, 2020   #1

children's educational investment



Task 2: Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pay some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

In current years, governments allocate their state budgets for supporting partly or totally children's education due to its expensive fees in some corners of the globe. While I accept that this has negative effects on individuals and governments. This is more likely to have outstanding influences

On the one hand, spending a great deal of money on children's education will affect either economy or society. Focusing on children's instruction impact directly on the expenditure on other important aspects. For instance, the healthcare system or infrastructure are not concerned by the government, which is held back from development owing to the lack of attractive investments. Families without children feel unfair when this taxpayers contribute a lot of money for national budgets, which links to social instability.

On the other hand, the above demerits are outweighed by merits. Children's education brings well-educated citizens because children are nurtured in great conditions. Children are encouraged to engage in other fields such as musical instruments, art, dance, ...which help children comprehensive development both physically and mentally. The government creates favourble condition for poorer backgrounds being able to attend to schools equality. In addition to that, parents' s financial burdens are relieved that they can have more money to spend on food, medical care for them. As a result, illiteracy rate will be reduced, and it may significantly contribute to the development of the country due to better workforce.

In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of children's educational investment are more considerable than the possible disadvantages.(250 words)

Mifta Libby A - / 2  
Apr 8, 2020   #2
Your task 2 essay for IELTS seems quite good for me since you can present two balance reasons for both drawbacks and advantages.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,717 3062  
Apr 8, 2020   #3
You should not aim to write only the minimum number of words. You have to write at least 275 words so that you an ensure an increased scoring potential overall. When you write only the exact number, you will meet only the minimum requirements for scoring. You want to score more than a 5 right? So write over the minimum requirement. That way you can allow the examiner to fully assess your writing skills pertaining to the scoring rubic.

Your approach to the discussion lacks a focused and partnered approach. Case in point, each of your paragraphs have connected A/D discussions, but you tend to insert unrelated information within, which makes the essay less focused in its presentation. The connected discussions per reasoning paragraph are:

Par. 2: spending a great deal of money on children's education will affect either economy or society. Families without children feel unfair when this taxpayers contribute a lot of money for national budgets, which links to social instability.

Par. 3: The government creates favourble condition for poorer backgrounds being able to attend to schools equality. As a result, illiteracy rate will be reduced, and it may significantly contribute to the development of the country due to better workforce.

Had you developed the essay using these related topics, your C&C score would have definitely been boosted to at least a 5 band score, meaning the overall essay could score better than just a passing score. Your reverse paraphrase is missing from the concluding paragraph. You need a repeated explanation regarding the topic, reasons, and suggestion at the end to properly close the essay.


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