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Posts by hhoaianhh2905 [Suspended]
Name: Nguyễn Phạm Hoài Anh
Joined: May 1, 2020
Last Post: May 17, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Viet NVi
School: THPT Chuyên Lê Quý Đôn

Displayed posts: 4
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hhoaianhh2905   
May 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / Today parents spend little free time with their children. Why is it the case ? Who are more affected [3]

Please do score my essay. Thank you !!!!

Parenting, raising children require time



Nowadays, there is a tendency that parents do not have much time to be with their offsprings. Therefore, I personally believe that children are the victims of this phenomenon.

First of all, the reason why parents spend little free time with their children is the increasing competitiveness in their work environment. As matter of a fact, our world is experiencing a significant development in technology in general and in robotic field in particular. This results in the rise of unemployment all over the world. Parents now are under pressure to make ends meet and put up with the massive workload. So, instead of setting aside free time for their children, parents tend to spend it working to meet the requirement of their employees.

On the other hand, children tend to spend most of their time watching televisions or staring at their smartphone's screen. Unlike the past, children today can get access to electronic devices easily as long as they want. In lieu of part-taking in extracurriculum activities with their parents or sharing things with them, children are allowed to sit in front of the television with the infinite resource of entertainment or surf the Internet for games, films and so on.

As a result, parents and their children hardly have time for each other. Unfortunately, because children are more vulnerable, they are more likely to expose to the disadvantages of spending little time with their parents. One of the typically negative result is that children somehow are badly-orientated. Without parents' advices, children can be easily spoiled by their peers, the Internet or even the criminals. Moveover, children can experience a period of mental crisis when they try to solve their problems alone , for instance, when they suffer from bullying. If the gap between parents and childrens is broken, it will not be fixed bridged easily.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that parents should spend enough time for talking, playing and sharing with their children in order to strengthen the bond between them and give their offspring the appropriate orientation.
hhoaianhh2905   
May 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / Writing task 1:The graph shows the number of marriages and divorces in the UK between 1975 and 2000. [3]

Statistics of marriages and divorces



The line chart enumerates the proportion of marriages and divorces happening in the UK in the period of 25 years from 1975 to 2000.
As an overall trend, while the number of divorces slightly increased, the rate of the first marriages and total marriages experienced a decrease.
It is conspicuous that there was nearly 350 thousand marriages in 1975. Then this number went up progressively and reached the peak at about 400 thousand. However, after that, there was a dramatical reduction in marrages held in the UK from 1985 to 2000 ( by 100 thousand ).

When it comes to total marriages and 2nd marriges, it can be seen from the graph that the the number of both of them gradually fell slightly over the period of 5 years and then had a downward trend in 1995. Nonetheless, they both seemed to move upward again.

In contrast, there was a considerable growth in the proportion of divorces from 50 thousand in1975 to over 250 thousand in 2000 eventhough it was so much lower than three other categories, especially when compared to the first marriages.



  • please help me to correct it
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