Mary11
Jul 22, 2020
Writing Feedback / Today more people are overweight than ever before. What's are the primary causes of this? [6]
hello, here are some of my suggestions. Hope this helps:
+ people are becoming obeseis that because they are ...
+ which includesthe high amount of fat, sugar, and carbs in fact of instead of eating healthy food.
+ ... one of the most critical/serious/.... problems that affects plenty of people today ( you should have an adjective before the word "problem")
Also, I think it's better to add "according to a recent research study/survey/...." when you give this information: "For example, about more than 50%... "
hello, here are some of my suggestions. Hope this helps:
+ people are becoming obese
+ which includes
+ ... one of the most critical/serious/.... problems that affects plenty of people today ( you should have an adjective before the word "problem")
Also, I think it's better to add "according to a recent research study/survey/...." when you give this information: "For example, about more than 50%... "