Writing Feedback / The effects of moving away from home to attend university [2]

IELTS Writing task 2 - Education

Topic: Many university students live with their families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages both situations?

In many countries, some high school leavers choose to live independently while pursuing further education while the others stay with their families. In my opinion, this choice has its own merits accompanied by some drawbacks which will be analyzed in this essay.

To begin with, living away from home exerts several benefits to students' lives. One of the key factors leading to this choice is that it could be a lifetime experience for many undergraduates. When living alone, students might have the opportunities of learning self- discipline, taking care of themselves by doing daily household chores such as washing, cooking or cleaning without the help of their parents. Consequently, it will also bring about a golden occasion for students to develop essential living habits which is considered to be the second advantage. To finish all these tasks as well as constantly improve their academic performance at schools simultaneously, students have to equip themselves with vital soft skills, including time-management, adaptability or budgeting and money management. In addition, they would learn how to tolerate and overcome their individual problems, which will not only help harness their many skills, especially problem-solving, but also provide them with a sense of freedom.

On the flip side, it is undeniable that this decision negatively affected some aspects of their lives. Without the support of their families, students have to shoulder a lot more duties and responsibilities, ranging from securing their training process to balancing their budgets. Constantly experiencing such unpleasant situations can put students under great pressure, giving rise to stress-related illnesses. In contrast, one compelling point of staying with families is that students can minimize their expenditure as rent, utility bills and renovations are no longer concerns. As a result, students can set aside financial worries and focus solely on their studies.

In conclusion, despite some beneficial impacts of moving away from home to attend university, it is advisable that each student consider thoroughly before giving his decision.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2 - Technology's effects on social relationships [4]

Q:Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships.

Do you agree or disagree?

Recent advances in technology have revolutionized public association in various ways around the world. Consequently, it is highly contentious that modern communication technology poses a dire threat to the relationships amongst people. From my perspective, though I lean towards the aforementioned statement, we also should not disregard its potential benefits accompanied by its drawbacks.

On the one hand, virtual communication has its own merits. The first advantage is that it allows great flexibility, which removes all geographical and time barriers. It means that people in different locations and time zones can instantly connect with each other via the Internet, so that it builds up and augment existing social ties. To illustrate, in the past, people had to make long trips just to meet other partners from other companies; however, with online meetings, they can join the conference from any place without the need to travel, which not only facilitates collaboration but also helps them to save time and money. Secondly, innovations in communication allows greater chance for new relationships as well as expanding our social circles. Music fandoms, which are the special community established by numerous people from different backgrounds all over the world, well exemplify this. By sharing the same interest and admiration to their idols, they become friends and may find out other mutually common things.

On the flip side, modern communication has detrimental impacts on social relationships. Discouraging direct communication is the first negative consequence. A vast majority of individuals are frequently online to check notifications from various applications that they use for communication, and they spent longer time on their gadgets than socializing in person with their peers, workmates, and families. Consequently, their relationship with the society and people are being ruined because of their isolation with the environment. In addition, it is believed that advanced technology in the field of communication can wreck the nature of friendship. Often virtual friends are not reliable and there is little likelihood of maintaining a long relationship with these people. There are many people who were swindled out of hundreds of dollar by their online friends because these swindlers made friends with them in order to merely take advantage of them.

In conclusion, though the modern technology is convenient, I strongly believe that people should control their use of technology due to a variety of its negative effects, and never forget the essentials of personal interaction.