Scholarship /
My ACT Test - Questbridge 200 word essay [2]
Prompt: Tell us about one of your proudest achievements or moments and what it says about you.
"You have five minutes remaining in the section," the proctor announced. I sat there, heart palpitating, thoughts racing, and mind jumbling. I still had ten questions left on the ACT Reading section as I scanned the last passage with feverous haste, and by the time I looked up at the analog clock, I had one minute left. My hand frenziedly scribbled in random bubbles until time had been called. There was still a discomforting void; I stared at my five empty answers as we finished the section and moved onto the next. I felt defeated, but my only option was to just finish the test.
I was sure that I failed, but at the same time, I just didn't know. I log on weeks later to see my results, preparing myself to see a 28 at best, maybe a 29. Except it's not a 28, or even a 29--it's a 31. My eyes widen and my hand hovers over my gaping mouth as I stare at the screen. I jump from my seat and celebrate. I was so proud of myself because I exceeded my own expectations and was capable of doing more than what I limited myself to.
I scrapped my old essay for this prompt and this is my first draft for the new one. I know 31 isn't that great compared to other QB applicants (haha), but the point was that I did better than I had anticipated.
Do you think this is an appropriate story?
How can I improve it?
How do I effectively end the essay?
Any feedback is appreciated, thanks! 