Undergraduate / "My work experience: A Salesman"-Common Application Personal Essay. [7]

A rough draft.

Please any comment, grammar, structural, punctuations, new vocabs to make a stronger sentence.

Anything please!!! Good or Bad. Anything. I have work 3 days on personal essays now, so I would appreciate any comments. Even if you guys think it's so bad that I have to rewrite the whole thing, I won't mind.

A Salesman

I'm merely another salesman trying to sell myself, truly. I will just be as blunt as a drunk man, since it is not the right time to be humble.

There is a wise saying in China says that a country can't survive without a leader for just a day. Perhaps, it was the truth of this saying gave me the opportunity to be in charge of a Buffet Restaurant as a teenager, though, I wouldn't consider myself as a leader yet. Or it could be the reputation of my father.

On a particular night of 2008, Ms. Zhong, owner of the restaurant and my father's best friend, asked me if I would like to work for her. She needed someone capable speaking both English and Chinese."Sure, why not." I said without asking her what job it was, since I was already looking for a job.

"Ok, great, you will be in charge of the restaurant when your cousin isn't working then, about once or twice a week." My cousin, who is just one year older than me, is the real manager of the restaurant.

"Hold on a second," my father interrupted "are you sure, Zhong? I don't think he can handle it"

"Yea, I can," I said ignorantly "I have lived by myself for years."

"This is different, I know you are capable of taking care of yourself, but we are talking about managing a restaurant here, even though, it's just for a day or two."

"Yea, yea, yea, What can happen in a day or two?"

Due to my smartass talking in Chinese; my father gave up and I got the job.

The opportunity was rare. But the job was not easy; my father was right. I learned a lot over the course of the year, though. There were times I had no clue what to do: workers' conflicts, free riders, disrespects, and accidents. Who would thought so much could happen. All of these I had never faced before, but were forced to make decisions right on the spot. To this day, I still ponder over what had happened and did I make the right decision.

The most unforgettable one was the disrespect from one of the coworkers-sushi chef. When a customer didn't know what kind of sushi he had purchased came up to the register; I didn't know what to charge him for, so I went to ask the chef. But he just ignored me. I got mad that instant, and almost yelled at him, but I didn't. I just charged the customer for the lowest priced sushi and ignored the chef. For the rest of the day, I could not stop thinking about that. After I got off from work at 10, I wanted to call my dad, but he was busy back in China. Instead, I called my uncle, and asking him for advice. I told him what happened, and he was very kind in giving me advice. He told me under those situations, there were only two options: fire him or pretend it never happened. How can I pretend it never happened? And I wouldn't want to fire someone just because he might had a bad day or something. Unsatisfied with his advice, I scoured the internet for hours looking for more fair and just advices. I came out with nothing. Then the stupid me actually went to yahoo answers asking for advices, cause it matters not where the sources of the ideas but the importance of the ideas. Whether it's from children, cab drivers, or anyone. Again, I got no answers. I resolved that I should talk to the chef, but was afraid of making things worse. So the next day, I asked my cousin for advice, she told me basically the same thing my uncle did. Again, I was not satisfied, yet I had to give up.

For days, I reflected on what could have cause the disrespect. Was it because I was too young? Or Was it because I somehow got the job through "connection". No, these weren't the reason. It was because of my own inexperience. I should have learned more about each area of the restaurant, not just my area.

Things slowly faded away, the chef no longer works here. But I still go to Barnes and Nobel, reading books on work places and business for future references. I would never forget that experience, it will always serve as a reminder. One should not let any mistake slip through, because they are the milestones of success.

Undergraduate / "experienced a lot of new things" - Common Application. [2]

I'm not sure if this should be in essay form or not, so any feedback is appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Over the summer, I experienced a lot of new things. I picked up interest in Fishing, Golfing and Tennis-I will try to make the tennis team in Spring. I took calculus II at my local community college; the experience was fascinating. I got a firsthand experience of what college is like. I learned that in college, it was all about responsibility. Students had a lot of freedom; it was up to them if they want study or not. Each day the class lasted for four hours, and we had quiz everyday-on things from the previous day or on what we have just learned. It was totally different from what it is like to be in high school. Due to my underestimating of college class and procrastination, I only got a B in that class. But I not only learned something about calculus but also learned some valuable knowledge that applies to real life situations. I shall never again underestimate anything, and from now on responsibility is everything. I also took the IL Food Service Sanitation Manager Certification (FSSMC)course and passed the class. The class last 10 hours a day, way harder than high school and college. It was not the material but the length of the class got me. But most of the managers there handled it like it was nothing. I finally got to know what a responsible adult is like. Also, I had applied for American Citizenship, so I should become an American citizen before I attend college-if I will get accepted by the University. Another thing, I am going to take the October ACT and the November SAT Subject Tests(Math 2 and Chinese with Listening).

Please look over my grammar and any other criticism is welcomed. Feedback on ANYTHING in ANYWAY.

Undergraduate / "underestimating" - Common Application short answer. 150 words or less.... [12]

A common mistake people make is underestimating, for whether it's people, sports, or work. It certainly had huge impact on me when dealing with mathematics. I loved math since forever. I would often find myself thinking about a complicate problem for hours and come out with no answer or too many answers and then laugh at myself for all the time spent. Things changed when I immigrated to America. I lost interest in math, for it became too easy and useless-improving English was more important than doing math. For years, I would not study for math but study for English; though, I still got perfect scores in the class. Due to the underestimating of math, my grade were brought down from 98 percent to an 89 percent Freshman year. This mistake continued to be a problem for me for years. But now I know, I shall never ever underestimate anything.

I have spent over hours now, but I can't really fit everything into 150 words.... Does it really have to be 150 or less?

Anyway, will someone please edit what I have right now. It's exactly 150 words.