Writing Feedback / "Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? [4]

Hi! This is a great topic:) Here is a few suggestions from a first time reader

... factors with regard to achieving happiness - Since you already mentioned happiness previously, this feels like an unnecessary add on that makes the sentence look busy and a bit meaningless, I recommend rewriting in to highlight your point.

"Happiness is quite ... it is quite abstract" -two "quites" in a sentence

" For example, some people who feel happy ... they have loving familes, or have free time totalk to their families, friends" - I would divide this into 2 sentences. reiterate the fact that for some, physical needs like shelter and substance is already the peak of happiness because they do not have anything greater (if that's what you mean). And for others, a sense of belonging with their family of communication is what makes them happy; because they do not need to worry about finding for a shelter for the night, they are trying to fulfil their psychological needs.

side note: check out the maslows hierarchy of needs, if this is a research type of paragraph, the model will tell you a lot about how happiness is perceived by people of different life situations.

"This is because, ... Thanks to this, ... Others factors could ..." - read it over again, and rewrite a bit.

It looks like you only really mentioned one or 2 factors.
-everyone perceives happiness differently
-you can't define happiness.
I know this probably has a a word count but I would explore deeper the issue because right now it seems as if you are repeating our point every sentence and it doesn't have a structure.

maybe begin with describing why it is different for everyone, like since everyone is at a different stage in the hierarchy for example and there are physical and psychological needs that have be met and therefor you will never reach the "happiness" you seek without the other.

then you can go into why people strive to be happy and why it is so difficult to pin point what it is exactly even for yourself. do you think you are happy? what does it mean for you? do you think some people are not happy because they have a wrong sense of what happiness is supposed to look like and they will never reach that point in life because they truly do not understand if that is the happiness they want? --- sorry I feel like this is off topic

So yes, everyone is different. they all have a goal and a final destination of "happy" town. but everyones map to the town is different. Happiness right now is viewed from a collective perspective. You know you log into your insta account and you see people on private islands with families that love them and they are financially stable. So everybody who likes that photo of them collectively think, "yesss, this is happiness, I am not going to happy until I reach that". But that's kind of wrong dont you think? Happiness should be an individual subject. --- I think this is a good point to include as well. A single state of happiness can't be universal. It is very personal and that is why it is so hard to define because there are 7 billion of us ... 7 billion types of happiness that we haven't even discovered yet ourselves

Sorry for rumbling on, just wanted to give you some ideas:)

Undergraduate / UBC personal profile question on how you dealt with unfamiliar and difficult situation [5]

Merged:

UBC personal profile question on how you dealt with unfamiliar and difficult situation try #2

I was working a busy night shift at the restaurant serving the bar crowd and wild university students when two people brought in an unconscious girl. I was the supervisor for the night so she instantly became my responsibility. She was found by strangers and had no valid ID or phone in her purse but I soon realized she was an international student. I was concerned about her wellbeing as she was heavily intoxicated and I had no address to take her home. I remembered my first aid course and made sure she was comfortable as I called 911 when her state got worse. Even though my staff was struggling to keep up with food orders, I prioritized her while calming impatient customers and guiding the staff through the night rush. I later learned that she was heavily drugged at the near nightclub. That night taught me to stay calm and collected during a high-stress situation. Taking the extra care of someone in need could save a life which is way more important than fast service. I have since always payed close attention to all night-time customers and prepare myself for anything that could happen. -200 words max

Writing Feedback / People think teachers no longer play important roles in classrooms [4]

Great work! Here are a few suggestions from a pair of fresh eyes
"Many people ... ,teachers do not have an important ..."
- the sentence feels a bit off, try teachers no longer play an important role in the classroom

"Taking a look at other aspects, teachers still play ..."
-needs a little bit of rewriting. you are right, teachers are essential to student mental development and connections. I would highlight that in your thesis

"Also, in some particular classes, students still need ... them to through study and practice"

"... task for the learning in creative and thinking class (sounds off, rewrite) if they do not have teachers to guide ... the beginning and obviously, computers do not solve this problem" -doesnt sounds "professional". Maybe include a side note to why computers can't. or why encouragement is important to student development.

"For example, the studying ability of students ... for their students. (maybe divide into 2 sentences. Are you trying to say that the students have different learning styles? if so mention why computers would be a bad choice for individual students) Moreover, teachers who have ... of frustration and impatience." -Rewrite to form a better sentence structure.

" the computer is popularly used in ..."
-I would say that computers are just tools and mediums. yes they could teach but going to school is so much more and that is why teachers are important guides

Writing Feedback / Task 2 Causes and solutions of climate change - a major problem that could severely impact human [4]

What great writing! I would just read It over again and again, slowly getting rid of short words without meaning, like "as" or "this". Good writing is always clear and concise. There are a few sentences that have unnecessary fillers. If you get rid of those, the sentences won't be so full and flow much better! This definitely takes some time and revising:) "There is ... change, but fossil fuel ... considered as the main contributors ..."

Undergraduate / UBC personal profile question on how you dealt with unfamiliar and difficult situation [5]

@Holt
Thank you Holt! I am having hard time coming up with something because I dot really know what would be significant enough. Thank you so much for your feedback

I am wondering if its applicable or too personal to write about mental health problems? I want to stay true to the question and it is truly the most difficult I have encountered. I am just concerned that I would seem weak or it could come off as cliche