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Posts by joshgesa
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
Last Post: Oct 27, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: usa

Displayed posts: 5
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joshgesa   
Oct 27, 2009
Undergraduate / UF Application: Getting my GED-Meaningful Experience [8]

This is a really good essay. The only thing that I am asking myself is why you had to get the GED. If it is something negative, I still think you need to be up front about it and turn it into a positive.

Also just a few suggestions:

Change this sentence from ...It was at that time my perseverance went into full drive...It was at this time that my perseverence went into full drive. Just reads a little smoother.

Please also read mine. It is titled, My life as a Quadratic Equation. I would really appreciate the help.
joshgesa   
Oct 19, 2009
Undergraduate / University of Florida: Undergraduate essay on life experience [13]

This is an unbelievably moving essay. Now, I am questioning my own. My only recommendation would be as the others have said, to tie what this experience did for you and how it will affect you and your life at UF.

Also, it would be great if you could critique my essay. It is titled "My Life as A Quadratic Equation" - UF Admission Essay. Thank you.
joshgesa   
Oct 19, 2009
Undergraduate / "My IB career" - UF Admissions Essay [2]

I think this is a well written essay. I felt like I knew a little more about you as a person in the context of you studies. Like you, I did not write about a major life experience.

My main recommendation is to eliminate the following section. This information should be included in your short answer section and I feel it detracts from the overall idea of your essay.

Also, it would be GREAT if you could give me some critiquing. It is the thread titled "My Life as a Quadratic Equation". Thank you.

In addition to the large workload IB provides, I also participated in many extracurricular activities, each of which contributed to the growth of my responsibilities. In my junior year, I ran for the position of Corresponding Secretary to be an officer of NHS. After my win, I took on the responsibility of recording all the different events that will take place and conveying the information to all the members. In addition, I worked collaboratively with 11 other officers to organize inductions for incoming juniors which is actually much harder than it sounds. As a result, it gave me insight into just how much responsibility my colleagues and I had to lead hundreds of students.
joshgesa   
Oct 19, 2009
Undergraduate / My Life as A Quadratic Equation - University of Florida Essay [4]

I would appreciate help. The prompt is the following:

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

I realized I was unique in the third grade. No, I was not the school handball champion. Instead, it was something less exciting, but still impressive to eight- year- olds. My talent appeared in the classroom when I scored one hundred percent on almost all my math tests and was placed in a special math group. This was an event that would change the direction of my life. I learned concepts the older grades were learning and tutored my classmates. They looked up to me because I was smart, and in elementary school, smart was cool.

Much has changed since third grade, including math being cool. Although math no longer enhances my social status, my adeptness and love for it remains. After solving a calculus equation, I get a surge of happiness and feel on top of the world. When it takes a few tries to solve a problem, I feel a rush of adrenaline. It is as if I finally understand everything and doors open to new problems I can solve. The feelings math gives me carry over into the rest of my life and make me more confident in everything I do.

Math is not just a subject to me; it is the way I approach life. When making a decision, I address it as I would a quadratic equation, looking at different ways to solve the problem, coming up with a solution, and making sure the solution works. This approach served me well when faced with an important decision about changing swim teams. Just as factoring is usually the first step to solving a quadratic equation, creating a pro and con list was the first step I took to simplify my decision. In a quadratic equation and in life, there can be more than one solution. A wrong solution can have lasting effects, so I always check to make sure the solution works. Before switching swim teams permanently, I first made sure I liked the coach and other swimmers.

My range of feelings and confidence exposed through math will prevail in everything I do at the University of Florida. When I work on a math problem I am focused, and at UF I will focus on my classes and studying. When I face a challenging math problem I work with others, and at UF I will gain new friends and experiences in my quest for knowledge. When I complete a math problem correctly I feel like cheering, and at UF I will cheer for all the clubs and sports teams. This is a unique feeling and I expect to carry it with me into my studies and life at the University of Florida. Although math may not be as dramatic to some people as slamming that handball past another kid, it is where I personally excel.
joshgesa   
Oct 19, 2009
Undergraduate / Stanford short answer. My favorite books, Spending my summers riding and JFK [6]

I understand what you are saying, but calls a gruesome image to mind. Maybe you should say it in a different way..."I wish I could have been there the day of Jonh F. Kennedy's assassination". This still communicates the same idea but in a less visual manner. Hope this helps.

What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed?
I wish I could have witnessed the assassination of John F. Kennedy. To this day there are many unanswerable questions and theories about what happened in that car. It would be fascinating to be able to go back to and to carefully watch the president and see if I could discern the events more clearly than the witnesses who did not know what was going to happen.
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